Cate and Rooney meet anywhere in the world
by MissShadowboxer
Summary: Cate and Rooney are meeting again...
1. Chapter 1

This is the first time I write a fanfic. But I saw Cate at the Tony's and she was so AMAZING I couldn't resist. Please note that english is not my first language. Any comments are welcome. Hope you enjoy.

...

The kids were sleeping now. Andrew was out with a friend and Cate found herself finally alone. A quiet and extraordinary moment for herself.

It has been some days since she was thinking about calling her. But the days and the nights rolled. The kids are so overwhelmingly good at taking her time, and she considered the new UNCHR role very seriously. She also had some new projects that came along. All this took the time to make that phone call that she thought every night she went to bed.

Today was the day. Was it?

Cate was feeling anxious. _This is nothing like you, what the hell is happening it's just a phone call._

Her phone was charging in the kitchen table. _Ok let's go._ She had some texts from Andrew. _"_ We're really having a great time here, I'm sorry you are not here with us. We should have called the babysitter. Are you feeling better? x" Cate felt an immediate urge to answer and say once again that she needed time for herself, but then why bother, she would only repeat what she had said before. Hylda also texted about work, she would answer later. Now it was time to call Rooney.

Cate dialled the number and while she was waiting for an answer she just travelled to two years before, right on the set of Carol _if only we could go back in time, oh well._

"Hello?!"

Cate felt surprised she didn't recognize Rooney's voice. She regretted immediately making the call in the first place, but now there was no way back. She couldn't just hang up.

"Oh.. Hi, ahmm I was hoping I could talk to Rooney…"

 _"_ Oh she's taking a bath..." Kate was extremely amused with this situation.

Cate remained in silence for a few seconds and just thought this was getting worse, although the idea of Rooney in the bath was not bad at all.

"Ok, so I can call her tomorrow or something…"

"Don't worry, I let her know you called."

Cate didn't know to whom she was speaking, but it seemed they were pretty closed, judging by the amusement in her voice and the touch of intimacy "she's taking a bath…" Proud of herself she decided not to ask who was on the other side.

 _"_ Ok then. Bye." Cate hung up and she was feeling silly and sorry for herself. She shouldn't have called.

She breathed deeply and returned to the place where she was before. Having a quiet night for herself. Billie Holliday playing smoothly, a glass of white wine and the book she's been reading. _Rooney is busy, that's that._

Rooney was now dressed and ready to have dinner with her sister. She went to the living room looking for Kate. But then she heard her sister's voice on the balcony where she was talking on the phone. She grabbed her phone, no phone calls, no texts. There was a small sense of disappointment. _No one called, no one texted, ok!_

 _"_ Hey you kiddo! Are you ready? Do you know who called?" She said careless.

Rooney acted surprised once she had just checked her phone. "Who?"

"Miss _-_ dramatic pause - Cate Blanchett."

 _"_ What are you talking about? And when were you planning to telling me that? Did you talk to her? Why?" Rooney was upset now. The decision of her sister answering Cate really pissed her off. _Why did she do that?_

"Hey, calm the fucking down. I was delighted I had the chance of talking to the Queen Cate… she didn't know who she was talking to…"

 _Exactly…_ Thought Rooney.

A mixed of emotions just filled Rooney's heart that was beating really fast. _I have to call her immediately._

She asked her sister to leave her alone for 10 minutes and went to her room to call Cate.

She sat on the top of the bed. Looking to the phone. She checked the last texts they exchanged 3 months ago. _How could this be, we spent three fucking months without talking to each other._ It was at the Oscars, the last and final Carol moment. They were both extremely sad about this closure, but it was a foregone conclusion. The last text was from Cate at 5 in the morning. "This was an amazing ride we took. It won't repeat but I will keep those moments in my heart forever. And only you know what remains between us and what we feel."Rooney didn't answer this, she was heartfelt with Cate, but now she just felt dumb. She found herself feeling that urgency again, the need to look at her again, Cate had that amazing look, so intense and pure. Suddenly she felt really hot.

 _Let's do this._

The phone rang. And rang. And Cate didn't answer. _I can not believe I missed a chance of talking to Cate. Should I try again?_ Rooney tried once more.

On the other side a sleepy Cate answered, surprised. _Hi!_

"Oh did I awake you?" "Don't worry I just closed my eyes for a minute. How are you? I'm sorry…I…" Cate was acting weird. It was not like her, hesitating, having a trembled voice.

Rooney answered promptly "I'm ok."

"Ok _."_ Cate seemed a bit disappointed. Rooney was distant.

But all of a sudden Rooney laughed and decided to clean the air, "You know you were talking to my sister…?"

There was a sense of relief in Cate's breathing. After all…

"Oh I thought…"

"You didn't think of anything common." Oh that American accent of Rooney's was the only one Cate could tolerate. She had that Newyorkish style, it was amazing.

"So have you moved already?"

"Yes we did, we are two hours from London now. And will be in the US soon…" That meant they would not be so distant, it felt exciting for both of them.

"And you dear, what have you been up to?" They were getting closer.

"Oh you know the usual, been shooting some new stuff…" "Are you excited?"

"Oh…ahmm yes, of course. But…well yes."

They were both looking for each other, but didn't find the correct words for this.

Cate took the risk.

"Rooney – she sounded really formal, I just knew some days ago that I'm going to attend the Tony's this year, they asked me to present an award. And since I'm going to be on broadway in the end of the year, I thought it's a go." She paused for a moment and heard Rooney's breath. "I was thinking…that we could spend some time together if you had the chance…" Now she didn't sound so formal, she was nervous, her tone changed a bit. If we could plan for me to go some days before. Well…it's just an idea…I don't even know if you are available..."

Before Cate finished the sentence, Rooney stated with her voice filled with excitement and love "it's a genius idea of you Miss Blanchett." Suddenly all was less serious and the atmosphere between them was relaxed.

"When is the awards going to happen, Cate?"

"June 12th."

"If it was up to me you would come two weeks earlier and we would spent all this time together eating the best of the best, going to the Met and strolling around NY."

Cate laughed. "Is that the only thing that comes to your mind?"

"Now I'm blushing, even with an ocean between us you have that ability, damn you!"

Cate laughed "I miss you, do you know that? I think about you…I can not avoid it."

"Me too…it's unbelievable."

"So I don't think I can make it two weeks earlier, I can not stay way from the kids that amount of time. But let's say 5 days? Are you available?"

"I'll make sure I will."

"Ok I will arrange the details later. I have to schedule a hotel…"

"OH CATE PLEASE."

"I like teasing you, it's so damn easy."

"IT SURELY IS."

They paused for a while and that silence felt so easy between them.

"Now I just want to hold you."

"Ok, let's say goodbye now or I will start to cry myself over this phone."

"Yes, let's. But I want to hold you in my arms anyway."

"Will you call me soon, please?"

"I will but make sure there's no girl around to answer your phone" _,_ Cate mocked.

Rooney laughed. _"I'll make sure that doesn't happen again."_

"Bye darling."

"Bye, see you soon."

Cate fell asleep in that comfortable sofa thinking about those days that were coming in june. The expectation was just amazing. It was just until Andrew arrived home that she woke up.

Rooney ran to the living room finding her sister Kate bored to death waiting for her to have dinner. They went out, and Rooney was feeling like a little kid, filled with excitement about this call, thinking of the possible ways she could take Cate to her favourite spots in the busy New York City. The city of lights and love.


	2. Chapter 2

The living room had a dim light, it was about 6 o'clock of what it felt like a summer day, pretty much unusual for a day like this in the rainy England. It felt somehow comfortable being around her family, the mess kids did with all the toys, a huge bookshelf where anyone could loose their mind finding the best of the best authors to read anytime, anywhere. And Sarah Vaughan playing in the background so low that the most inattentive person wouldn't notice.

"Do you want to watch a movie tonight?" Andrew asked, with a slightly nervous tone in his voice. He was looking for Cate, trying to mend the gaps between them. They were not angry at each other, it was just these huge silence that bothered him, they didn't know what to communicate to each other, there was nothing to say anymore. Nothing concrete happened, it was _only_ the years between them and all the post Carol situation that wasn't solved in their minds. Yet. _Is there going to be a time when we're going to have peace with each other?_ Andrew wondered to himself.

"What movie do you want to watch? With the kids? Without the kids? Before dinner? After dinner? Why everything is so complicated...! Oh well..." In the end Cate smiled with a certain tone. She wasn't in the mood of watching a movie at all, she just wanted to stay steady, maybe read a book, call Rooney and talk about nothing, tell her that she was taking care of the plans just as they talked, she would be in New York soon, they would talk about what happened some months before and clear the air between them.

There was an uncomfortable atmosphere between Andrew and her, but they got use to it, they were so troubled and deepen in their issues that it was difficult to regain trust, desire, passion. Even though they loved it each other very much and they had that sense of family which brought gratitude, care and love. They were all of them a huge pack, a successful one, always joking at the dinner table. But the intimacy that they once shared had vanished and they didn't even know how.

"I guess I'll spend the evening working once the kids are in bed" Andrew stated.

"Ok." Cate got up and checked her phone. She was thinking about calling Rooney. Maybe text her. Was that a good idea? _Why do I always think so much about these things? Thinking is just anti ethical when comes to love... Love? Is this love? Am I still in love with her? After all that happened when we were shooting Carol, after we shot Carol, when we were promoting Carol and then the_ Oscars. Cate didn't even want to think about those days in Los Angeles with Rooney. It was so painful. She just thought they didn't deserve that kind of ending. And that's why she insisted in calling her. Now. All of a sudden Cate found herself very emotional, thinking about all the intense moments they have lived the past two years. And how to overcome that heavy heavy situation they shared. _Calling is not a good idea. We shouldn't talk over the phone. I just want to see her. And then we can talk. But what about a text...just a short one.._

She started typing. And felt amused and excited about it, just like a crazy in love adolescent.

"Hi..." She deleted. How should she adress Rooney?

"Hello Rooney.." _No, too formal_

"Hi darling, how are you? _too sweet...but I am sweet...hmmm_

"Rooney, I hope you're well. I want you to know that I'm planning everything as we spoke. I'm arriving in NYC june 7th, the tony's are on sunday and then I leave to LA on Monday. I was thinking about renting an apartment on the upper east side, not distant from yours. Please let me know your thoughts on this. x"

"Mommy, can you tell us a story, pleeeease?"

"Of course monkey, let's do it so you can sleep the best of sleeps" While Cate was entertaining the kids with bedtime stories, Rooney called two times. Andrew heard, but didn't bother.

When she got back to her phone half an hour later, she had two missed calls and 4 texts from Rooney, who seemed anxious about the situation.

"Cate. Hi. What are you going to do in LA? I might go there also that week."

"7th is great!"

"About the apartment, I was thinking that you might want to stay with me, as we talked, didn't we? But if you want to be on your own, I totally understand. But there's two rooms here if you want to stay way from me under the same roof"

"I hope you're well to, honestly, and I'm looking forward to be with you and talk things up".

Suddenly Cate had a huge smile on her face. She could just imagine Rooney feeling insecure and equally impulsive. Writing on the phone just as she thought. Her mind emerging in a mix of deep emotions.

"Rooney, my dear, sorry I missed your calls, I was putting the kids to sleep. I'm going to give some thought on what you proposed ;) see you soon"

That warm afternoon evolved in a pleasant evening with a gentle breeze that one could hear in the trees that surrounded the house. Cate decided to seat outside smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of wine, a routine she liked doing alone. She was filled with this amazing expectation, in just three weeks she was meeting Rooney, in NY. For now it was that feeling that kept her heart beating fast. Nothing else. And when our hearts beat faster for someone we should give it some thought, and that's what Cate did through that warm and cosy night.

Meanwhile in NY Rooney was seeing her therapist Rose. She did psycho therapy for quite a long time now, in a weekly basis. Only when she was shooting it got more difficult but they would skype sometimes. Rooney faced therapy as a common thing, since she was an introvert, talking to someone who was a professional, made her more confident, and she could work things through with herself. And everybody in NY attended therapy.

Rose's office just felt like home. It had a long and comfortable carpet that Rooney always wondered if it came from somewhere in the orient. Three comfortable chairs, a chaise-longue _probably for those who are in to psycho analysis_ and two bookshelves, filled with books where she lost her eyes when she was putting her own words together. Rose was warm and quiet, she didn't say much, only when it was really necessary. Rooney knew that everything she said had a huge meaning, and also every silence, every nod. Rose sometimes showed herself more enthusiastic about some topics, but Cate was not one of them.

"Cate called me last week…" It was the first thing Rooney said when she took a seat.

"Oh did she…?"

"She's coming to NY next month, and wondered if I would like to spend some days with her."

Rose was listening attentive.

Rooney explained all the facts, how the call had happened, Kate answering, the talk she had with Cate afterwards. The texts they exchanged a week later. And her thoughts on all of this. The Oscars situation was not mended yet, she was heartfelt by all of that but she assumed Cate was the one to be angry and sad, towards Rooney's attitude.

"Oh Rooney please, don't be so hard on yourself. We act according to what we are feeling in the moment, and what Cate and you lived was not easy. You have to be easier on yourself but always consider the consequences of your actions."

They were analysing all the situation for an hour. And Rooney felt lighter when she left Rose's. One thing she knew, there was nothing else she wanted now other then being with Cate. She started to make plans. _I'm going to take her to that Italian restaurant._

Love lightens the heaviest load.


	3. Chapter 3

So they finally meet! This is getting exciting. Thanks for the reviews, I hope I can have more comments so you can let me know how this is going. Note that english is not my first language. Thank you!

...

Everything was set. Only some hours left, Cate would leave really early in the morning to the airport, she said a special goodbye to the kids with lots of cuddling before they went to bed. 10 days was a long time without them, but she needed this time now for herself, and she was sure she would come back with another state of mind, that would benefit all parts.

She had her bags ready, the kids were sleeping, there was time to face Andrew.

"You could have told me, I would go to the Tony's with you. Are you going alone?" Andrew was in part sad, in part offended by this situation.

"Andrew, dear, I have told you, I'm meeting Rooney in NY for a couple of days, and I'm attending the Tony's with Hylda, and we're are headed to Los Angeles the 13th for the Women in Film Crystal and Lucy Awards, where she's going to be honoured."

"And then you stay 4 more days in LA... without us..."

"Don't make this harder on ourselves, Andrew, please. It's already a messed up situation, don't you think?"

"Oh you're asking me that.. " Andrew laughed. "What if now I decided to leave to Australia and visit a friend?"

Cate seemed surprised, they always made plans together so that the kids wouldn't be alone. "You're not being fair, we talked this through almost a month ago and agreed. You can go wherever you want when I come back."

The conversation kept on going, it was not an argue, it was a conversation between two people who knew each other well, who didn't like to scream and who tried to understand each other. Maybe because they were together for such a long time and had four kids.

"I love you, Cate. I wish we could regain some of the love we felt"

"I know...I love you to Andrew, you know that, but we can not stop what happened in our lives. And I was always honest with you. This a messy situation, I know, but I'm living a different period in my life and somehow I need this and I need you to understand that. Just as I understand that you need to do your stuff and do the things that you like doing without me. Isn't that right?" Andrew didn't quite agree with this point of view but he remained in silence.

Cate fell asleep, she would wake in only five hours. And she had a 1 hour ride to the airport.

"Good morning Miss Mara, just to let you know that I'm now inside the airplane and in some uncountable hours I will be with you... There's a car waiting for me at the airport, and he we'll take me to your place. Will you be there by 12? See you soon".

Rooney woke up in the middle of the night and checked her phone for any texts or calls. And there it was. Everytime she had a text from Cate her heart seemed to jump out of her body. She couldn't believe they were just some hours away from holding each other. Well, the part of holding each other she was not sure yet, but she could only hope. The last thing Rooney said to Cate at the Oscares was that she didn't want to see Cate anymore or have anything to do with her. She was angry and out of her mind. Cate didn't say anything she just cried with those harsh words and remained in silence. And then Cate send that text some hours after the Oscars, and Rooney never answered. Cate was the one who broke the silence. Maybe she would come to NY just for them to talk and have some peace between each other. Maybe they were really over. And it was Rooney who wrote the ending of their story.

But Cate teased Rooney over the phone, and said she like teasing Rooney. She was confused. Did Cate want to be with her? Or just talk about what they had?

Rooney woke up ate 8,30. There were many things to prepare in the apartment for Cate's arrival. Although Cate didn't say in her texts where she would stay, Rooney wanted to make sure her apartment was the ideal place. Her apartment had two spare rooms, Cate could choose which one she prefered the best.  
She bought flowers in the market, some fresh fruit, bread, many kinds of cheese that she knew Cate adored, some other groceries, white wine, red wine, champagne, ice cream, ice, chocolate and everything that came in mind when she was shopping. Rooney wanted to fill the fridge, so they wouldn't be hungry in the middle of the night. _I can only hope!_

When she arrived home with lots of bags, she asked Bertha to set all the things.

"Miss Mara are you going to throw a party?" Rooney laughed in a very cute way.

"Yes, we can say so! Bertha can you call me tomorrow and we'll arrange in the week when is the best of you to come?"

"Oh...you throwing a private party" She blinked. Bertha knew Rooney for a long time, since she worked for her parents, and now exclusively for Rooney. "Don't worry I'll be near the phone, it's just crossing the bridge and I'm here for what you need"

"Thanks Bertha you are the kindest!" Rooney kissed Bertha in the cheek and gave her a hug.

Cate was arriving Manhattan and she felt so anxious, nervous, her heart was pounding, and yet she didn't feel this alive since the last time she was with Rooney. There was a pattern of behaviour here. And she had to give some thought to this.

The car stopped just in front of Rooney's building.

The doorman helped Cate with the bags. And took them upstairs. They shared the elevator, Cate was smiling excited about all of this. It was happening.

Rooney opened the door with a huge welcoming smile in her face. Cate decided to act _blasé._ She asked the doorman to put the suitcases wherever he found convenient and thanked him. She looked towards Rooney and did what she always did, one hand in one cheek a kiss in the other. Usually Cate greeted people in the Australian way, with two kisses, it was more formal, only with people she felt at ease, even some intimacy, she would give a kiss in the cheek. And that was the way she compliment Rooney since the day one. Rooney noticed her clothes, so casual and yet so classy. Jeans and a white shirt inside de trousers and flat shoes, the trousers were short enough you could see the ankles.

"Do you need anything Miss Mara?"

"No, Tom you can go, thank you."

They were finally alone.

Cate seated in the sofa, tired. "How was your flight?", "Oh you know, flights... I slept a bit, read another bit, saw an awful movie and was just eager to get here". Cate was now gazing intensely to Rooney who sat beside her in the sofa.

"So here we are finally. How are you my dear Rooney?"

How could Rooney answer this. She didn't know. Once again they were looking for each other, for the correct words, even though the silence didn't feel uncomfortable at all. Even if they had shared a lot of intimacy in the past, they were a bit distant now, and she didn't know how to conquer again the intimate space they once had. _I guess it comes with time_.

"I was really excited for you to come..."

"So you're not excited anymore?" Cate mocked, and was laughing.

"You're so silly..." Rooney laughed.

"I had almost forgot how wonderful this apartment is. Are you spending most part of the year here?" "Yes, I am. My sister comes along very often, and I'm not too far from my parents, my uncles and some close friends." Cate was distracted. How would they break the ice on this. They were both nervous.

"Hey...come here" Cate grabbed Rooney's hand. She paused, in a way she was thinking what she was about to say, "I'm here to spend some days with you, have some fun and hopefully stay well. I need to make amends with you. These months in silence were not good for me, I don't know about you, but I didn't feel ok about that last conversation. Well, I didn't talk much, but..." "Yeah, it's all my fault, I know, I was a child." "Don't say that, the circumstances are not ideal, you know... but can we just try something? Peace?"

Rooney didn't quite understand what Cate wanted, she wanted peace but did she _want_ her? Was there any kind of desire?" Cate was laconic.

"I have plans for us..." Cate acted surprised "Do you?" "Yes, now I'm going to cook lunch for us, and I suppose you want to rest a bit in the afternoon, and then in the evening I'm going to take you to dinner, and we can talk over dinner everything you want to talk."

Cate was feeling overwhelmed by the fact that Rooney was taking care of her, just what she needed. All of a sudden she grabbed her and put Rooney on the top of her. Both sitting on the sofa. Rooney was sat on Cate. If this wasn't intimacy, what was it? After that talk Rooney didn't expect this. Cate's face was on Rooney's shoulders level. They were really close looking at each other. Rooney felt this was the moment and she was going to kiss Cate on the lips, Cate smiled and placed her hands on Rooney's mouth. "You hold your horses lady, you are only winning a kiss after we talk" Cate was really glad she was taking control of this situation, despite the urge she felt, she wanted that kiss for so long, but it would taste so much better if they waited. "Are you really doing this to me?" Rooney asked. "Yes I am", Cate smiled and gently and compassionately stroke her back. They were holding each other so tenderly, Cate kissed Rooney's neck and felt her bodies were so closed.

"What song is this?" Cate emerged from that intense moment.

"Oh you like this song?"

"Yes, I really do, it's...sexy, I don't know. Let me know, I like it." She was asking with a gentle voice "Please tell me".

Rooney felt entertained that Cate didn't know which song was this. And started to sing in Cate's hear _and I know that you know it's so damn hard, hard to let you go"_ The tension was growing between them, Cate embraced Rooney in her arms and decided to break that passionate atmosphere with a joke. "If you don't tell me the name of this song I will get up and put shazam on this" But Rooney didn't surrender and the chorus of the song started again, Rooney sang again on Cate's hear _and I know that you know it's so damn hard, hard to let you go_ and then finished - "Only when you kiss me."

The music finished. And they stopped looking at each other. Rooney decided to stand. "I'm going to prepare lunch. This is going to be difficult. I can not be anywhere near you...!"

Cate was breathing heavily. "My dear lord, what you do to me..."

"Do you want help with lunch?", "No... don't worry. I'll show you your room, and you can settle." Cate decided not to answer to that provocation. "Ok."

They had lunch, grilled salmon with vegetables. And the Cate went to rest for the afternoon.

For Rooney's surprise while she was reading a script her phone started to ring. It was Cate texting. Rooney just laughed.

"Can you come here?"

"Here where?"

"Well you know your place better than me I guess"

Rooney went to Cate's room, where she found Cate with a long and comfortable t-shirt. "Hey, come here and lay down with me, please. I feel I'm wasting my time when I'm not with you". Rooney felt this was dangerous.

"Can we start the conversation we need?"


	4. Chapter 4

"So you want to talk now?"

"Yes, why wait...?"

Cate pushed Rooney towards her, that was lying in bed. "Cate... please, this is not the best place for us to have a serious conversation." While Cate was pushing Rooney and touching and softly kissing every inch of Rooney's skin, she was speaking at the same time "Why is that so? People have talks on bed all the time. We had several talks on bed in the past". Rooney was now seated near Cate who seemed voracious. "Yeah, but not with this tension between us...I can not look at you half dressed, or should I say half naked, in bed, feeling this hot and you want to have a fucking conversation". Cate was unshakeable as Rooney gave up and just lied down in bed. Cate continued talking, while she was caressing Rooney, kissing gently her neck, ears, eyes, and then went down to her belly, while she was asking Rooney if she would be so kind and explain those last words she said in February. "Because now I have an opportunity to answer you". And with this statement Cate suddenly changed her mood and became serious, she stopped what she was saying to Rooney and just looked at her waiting for an answer.

Rooney was stalled but Cate insisted. "Oh you don't have anything to say now? I know how you feel. You're feeling like I felt back in Los Angeles when we were together, crying over ourselves, saying goodbye to a journey of two years and suddenly you loose your mind and call me selfish because I told you I needed to return to my family. Is that what you really feel about me? About ourselves? You didn't even bother to call me, to text me, to answer my text that morning. Hum? I don't mind calling you 3 months later, you know... It's a natural thing for me... look out for you. Because I feel deeply connected to you Rooney. This is no easy situation, but it's what we have, do you want to stay 3 months without talking to me, feeling like a stranger?"

Rooney was now crying, she felt so sad, so childish about those words in that hotel in Los angeles, it wasn't fair. On the other hand Cate, despite being hurt, was so gentle, so outspoken, the way she put things was so open and clear and somehow inspiring.

"This is why you're not earning a kiss until you talk to me. Of course it's very difficult to resist to that body of yours, and your smell, it's incredibly hard to hold my thoughts on what I want to do right now." Cate was riding this conversation and she could change the mood of it in a split.

Rooney was so sad she was having a hard time articulate the proper words. She wouldn't be so eloquent as Cate. "I'm seeking explanations. I want to ask you things" - Cate laughed and tickled Rooney gently. She had a hand on her head, and was lying next to Rooney who had her eyes in the ceiling. "I don't want to be hard on you, and I don't like seeing you cry. I just can't manage to proceed without talking about what happened."

"Oh I was the one who was hard on you. I didn't had the right. But I thought that what we built, what we had was so special..." "We had? Not anymore?" Cate was so fast speaking her thoughts and interrupting a serious thinking with a light joke. But Rooney took this seriously. "I don't know if you want me anymore, that's why I used the past." "Oh, you so clever that sometimes I feel struck by your brightness" Rooney was confused. "So what am I doing here?" Cate wanted to sound surprised but she was just in control of the situation.

Rooney stopped talking. She was just looking at her, it was always her, nobody else. From the moment they met for the first time, 'till now, no soul on earth had that impact on her.

She hesitated. "What would you like to do here?" "Seriously? Are your synapsis working well? Do you need a doctor?"

"I missed your sense of humour..."

The room was filled with silence and a tension between them.

"I...I don't have the correct words to say this, well, maybe I will, but for now I just want to apologise for my behaviour back in Los Angeles. I shouldn't have screamed, or say any of those words. I was feeling angry those days. We were not getting along. Of course that we have much more to elaborate about all this situation, but for now - she breathed deeply - I am truly sorry Cate. And of course you're the brave one here. I am just a coward. I absolutely adored that text and didn't answer, I didn't call you. I don't know, I am just a fool. Sometimes I don't know what to do with this feeling...I want to reach out to you, but you have your stuff to deal with..."

"What about our stuff? Don't you think that I live with this too? Or you think I went back to my family and it was all fluffy and happy with Andrew? Hum? These situations have their consequences. We are living them now."

The atmosphere was much relaxed now, even their body language changed. Although during the conversation, Cate never stopped touching Rooney, holding hands, caressing her hair, kissing the cheeks and ears, _but I will not kiss her until she apologizes_. She wanted somehow for Rooney to see how much she hurt her, but in a tender way, there is the reason for all the cuddling.

"Yes...Cate I'm sorry."

Cate felt relieved. _Finally._

"Ok. That was one of the things I came for. Are you going to tell me now the name of that song?" She smiled and profoundly looked into Rooney's eyes, a mixed of teasing and tenderness.

"I told you when I was going to say..."

Cate didn't let Rooney finish the sentence. Her hands were on Rooney's face now, and gently she approached Rooney's mouth and kissed her. It was an endless kiss between two people who knew their intimacy well, they kissed with their tongues intertwined filling the gaps of time they were apart. It was such an immersive experience they didn't want to end. Rooney was moaning in such pleasure and ecstasy, her hands started to travel in to Cate's body. Gently in the back, then stroking her hair. She would eventually stop in her breasts for a while, giving up that kiss and dedicating herself to Cate's nipples.

"What are you doing? OH god."

"I'm reading Proust and writing an essay about it"

Cate laughed so very amused. "Shouldn't we wait? Don't we have more talking to do? I thought we were having dinner and a conversation..."

Rooney continued. "Yes Miss Blanchett, we are. But now I'm sorry but you can not stop this. This is not negotiable!"

"There you are, I missed you so much, please don't stop what you're doing."

And they made love. Tender love making, no rush, just incredible and overwhelming pleasure. They both needed that. It was a unique bond that they knew so well to practice, with each corner of skin, each spot the other knew it was somewhat erogenous. _All my body screams for you._ They spent hours in bed, making amends, talking low in the ear, giggling, talking about the pleasure they gave each other. There was no prejudices, no hesitations when it came to their relationship in bed. It was just perfect.

Two and a half hours later they gave up and just stopped after they both reach their climax, at the same time.

"Gosh, I haven't felt this good in months...come here." Rooney just immersed herself in Cate's embrace and they stood still a long while. One could hear the sound of the city outside, and Rooney was thinking that they didn't hear any music the last two hours. _I have to take care of this next time._ Cate was breathing heavily and she realised Cate was now sleeping like a baby. So Rooney got up to fetch her iPod in the living room.

Cate mumbled, almost angry "Where are you going, please don't leave me".

"I won't, be here in a minute."

Rooney knew Cate. She would sleep for an hour now. That would give her time to book the restaurant where she wanted to take Cate. And think about things. Think about how happy she was, and how she wanted to seize those glorious moments they were having, and at a drop of hat, in just a few days it would be all over again, and then what would she do? Cate had her family, the kids, a husband, but Rooney, her emotional life was totally around Cate and that was a problem. They would have to talk about this and figure how to stay sane.

"Hi. It's Rooney Mara, can I speak with Francesco please?" Francesco had that marvellous italian accent that Rooney adored. "Ciao Miss Mara, how are you doing?"

"Hey Francesco, I'm very fine, and you? May I have a table for 2 tonight? Make it private and cosy." "Of course Miss Mara, don't worry, 8,30 would be good?" "Yes great, see you tonight!"

Rooney entered the room just when Cate was waking up, she placed the iPod on the dock and started that one song Cate mentioned earlier.

The song started smoothly so that was the perfect way to wake her lover with tender kisses. Gently reaching Cate's mouth that didn't know yet if this was real or just another dream.

"Hey you, wake up we have much to do."

"Oh now you're going to tell me the name of this song..." "Yes, I am, but first get here, because I want your mouth in mine now". They never seemed to get tired of this incredible physical connection, and the atmosphere was even sexier due to the song Rooney chose.

"This is Patrick Watson, Know that you Know. I remember the first time I listened to this record."

"Only you could remember such a thing my love". "Yes. I have this thing with records that I like. It was when we were in Cannes in Carol première. "Oh really?! That's why you remember, you naughty girl" "No. Not true, this record is very passionate, you have to listen." "Why didn't you show me back then?" "Weeeeelll you only listen to jazz music." "OH do I? You may have some surprises there lady!"

"Oh Cannes...do you remember? Can we revive the highlights of our relationship?"

"Of course Miss Blanchet, that's why we are going out to have dinner" "OUT? the two of us?" Rooney laughed. "Oh god, you are not used to NYC, yes we are going out, and I can bet nobody will recognise you, and we are going on foot."

"And if anyone recognises US? What would I win.."

"Oh we will think about that. Care to join me in a bath?"

* * *

Please let me know your thoughts on this. Note that english is not my first language, I'm a bit shy about this. This is the Patrick Watson song, please enjoy as I enjoyed writing this ;)

watch?v=2TExdgMqc6U

And, of course, there's more to come!


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is huge! I'm sorry I don't want to be boring, but I couldn't help it. Let me know your thoughts on this, enjoy!.

* * *

Cate was dressing up, while Rooney went to the kitchen and took a bottle of white wine from the fridge. After a long and pleasurable bath together.

"Hey. What should I dress?" Cate shouted from the room.

"You can go naked!" Rooney laughed. "Oh maybe that's not a good idea, but dress casual. Casual Cate, do you know that style?"

 _This is so comfortable, I would live here easily... how will we say goodbye? How will I handle another journey without her?_

Cate showed up in the living room when Rooney was opening a bottle of wine. She wasn't expecting to see Cate in such a short notice and looked to her loved one feeling surprised and proud. She was _just_ amazing, fresh and casual, but classy as only Cate could be. Her hair was loose and a bit wild, she putted little make up, over a black shirt with a simple collar, black trousers and flat shoes. She was lascivious.

"You are not getting away with this. Come here I want you now" Rooney meant what she said. She wanted to undress Cate now. Cate laughed and was truly happy of being so desired.

"Yes, you want me as much as I want you...but aren't you opening a bottle of wine... so shall we darling?" Cate's actions spoke louder than words.

"So let me see if I understood well, - Rooney closed her eyes, you want to drink wine, but you are kissing my neck, and touching me under my clothes." Cate always did this, she was speaking and doing _things_ to Rooney. "Yes. We must stop right now!" Cate stated while she was kissing intensely Rooney's neck. "Although it's really difficult to stop...you know" Cate had a mellow and slurred voice. "You smell amazing, I missed so much your smell, did you know that?" "No, I didn't" Rooney answered. Rooney started to unzip Cate's trousers and was expecting to place her hands in Cate's most intimate piece of skin. Cate smiled in the middle of a kiss and stated "There you go, I'm your prize after we have dinner. I enjoy seeing you burning with desire for me. So from now until we get home there's no touching."  
 _Home. What a wonderfull word in her mouth._

Cate stopped what she was doing, she loved, loved to torture Rooney in this sexy way, she knew Rooney couldn't resist a bit.

"Let's drink that bottle of wine".

"Ok... you are the worst! Oh god. Ok!" Rooney pulled herself together.

She grabbed two glasses and the bottle. "Come with me" Cate acted surprised "where are you taking me?"

"Can you grab the keys please?". They got to the elevator and Rooney pressed the button to the last floor. They went out, and climbed some small stairs that would lead to a door. "Cate please, can you open this door? Mind the gap, please" She said amused. Cate opened the door and wowed. She was expecting some nice views, but not as nice as this one. "You didn't take me here the last time...!" "I didn't, someone was not always stoping me...and we spent all those days in bed". "Would you rather be in bed right now?" Rooney was serving the wine in the glasses. "Well, of course, but this feels so good too. You are the tension expert, despite the torture it feels really good. And I like to show you the places that make sense to me. I like to come here and see the city undressing the day..."  
"Cheers.." They gazed at each other and drank.

Cate got close to Rooney and gave her a kiss. "Thank you for bringing me here, I am very, very happy to be here with you. I'm truly, deeply happy, I didn't feel like this for a long time. And I must recall the last time was with you." Rooney was thrilled, she squeezed Cate with care and felt her smell in the neck. Cate interrupted that tender moment in some slow words in Rooney's ear "Do you know how wet I am?" Rooney laughed "You are the worst, we should get going to the restaurant or I won't let you leave. We have to eat!". "Yes, and talk...lot's of talking." Cate laughed unengaged.

They drank a bit more of the fine portuguese wine and went out.

New York felt like a poem, the more they walked in that slow pace that would follow the rhythm of their conversation, the more they wanted both to embrace that moment and freeze it in time, in a photographic way. The golden light that reflected in the buildings was just perfect, the day was saying hello to the night, and Cate and Rooney were both excited of what was coming. This was what falling in love meant. And with them this kept on happening over and over again. In every dinner, every night in bed, every talk, they felt they could fall even more in love.

"Sometimes I have this idea of NY being so busy, and yet here we are seeing people arriving home in their bikes, small buildings, the trees dancing to sound of wind..."

"Oh my god, you are a poet now, Miss Blanchett!" Rooney mocked. "I'm no poet no, but I'm feeling so happy here with you. Do you realise that?" Rooney had her eyes filled with tears of happiness. "Yes. I realise that!"

They felt really at ease in being so anonymous. Actually nobody cared. They saw many people who didn't bother to look, and that feeling of was delightful.

They arrived to restaurant right on time. Limoncello was a fine italian restaurant, unpretentious with the most marvellous italian chef, Francesco. Rooney was a frequent client. Francesco received both of them like no other clients, yet with that special italian touch. "Miss Mara allow me, how are you? I'm so pleased you brought company tonight, I arranged that special table for you."

"This is wonderfull my love, thank you". Rooney smiled at Cate's compliment.

They chose the food, the wine and some starters. The restaurant had the perfect lightning, low and comfortable. The tables had enough space between them so people wouldn't hear the conversations of others. The atmosphere had some intimacy, but it didn't feel awkward.

"This is one of my favourite restaurants, I am so very pleased I'm taking you here. This is my treat and a way of apologising for what I said in LA."

"I can think of other ways for you to apologise to me..." Cate was in the teasing mode.

"Well, yes, but this is serious now." Cate changed to the serious mode. "Ok, let's."

"Well...The first time we got together..., I thought this was just a physical attraction. I always had a physical attraction towards you. Well at first I was starstruck, and then we shot Carol and all the Carol situation... and then Cannes, and then NY..." Cate was attentive "I'm listening". "I think that between those moments that we were not together I...I just fell in love with you, Cate. And sometimes it's really hard to deal with this feeling, because there's no future for us. That first time we made love...do you remember the first words you said when we left bed?" "What?" "This is a fucked up situation. And on the Carol set I really thought it was a movie set thing, we had sex, yeah it was good, but... we continued. And... well, it's really a fucked up situation, don't you think? Yeah it's amazing these days we are going to spend here, but then what?" Rooney looked down, she was startin to feel the way she felt in Los Angeles when she lost her mind over Cate, because Cate would remain in silence, she didn't have answers for this.

"Yes, I know what you mean. And believe me, I feel as deeply sorry as you, when we are apart. And if it was up to me things would be different, but I got a whole pack of wonderfull people that rely on me, my kids...and. Well, you know. I don't bring any solutions this June to you. I just bring my will to be with you. I want to be with you, I want to listen to your records, and wake up in the morning and cook you breakfast, I want to take a shower with you, and see a movie, I want to kiss you when you don't expect me, I want to see you sleep, and I want to have deep conversations about the books we've been reading. I want to know about that therapist of yours from whom I'm totally jealous." Rooney giggled, "Oh Cate, please!" "Yeah, I'm jealous. She's hot. I'm jealous of the sheets that you sleep in every night, I'm jealous of the floor your feet walk. I think about you all the time, I want to share things with you, what I see, what I listen to, things I read, things I watch, people I meet. Do you understand what this is? And yes, it's difficult because we live in different countries, I have my own family, but I think we can try like we're trying now. The only thing I can not cope was the last 3 months. It was awful, not speaking to you, feeling that you didn't want to look at me anymore. Those harsh words always knocking in my brain, Oh Rooney you really hurt my feelings, and you thought this was an easy situation for me. It is not, and you must be aware of that". Cate drank a bit of wine.

The food arrived just to clear the air. Cate had this habit that Rooney knew well, she would say lines from movies, and Rooney would have to guess which movie she was quoting. Sometimes it would be easier. Cate looked at Rooney smiled and stated "This one is the easiest just for you: I'm starved"!

"Oh, You Carol!"

"Ok, so what do you propose for us?"

Cate decided to relax a bit, "Oh, you want me to propose to you, my love?" Cate had a naughty look.

Rooney smiled.

"I think we can get the best out of what we can do. And what we can do is to see each other 3,4 times a year. Can you imagine days like these once in a while? The wait will be excruciating, but the prize, oh god, this afternoon was just mesmerising. But well, in the end of the year I will be in NY, and that will be so exciting...! And maybe one day I'm too old and you get fed up of me".

"Don't you say that. I have serious feelings about you." "Oh yes, I don't have any doubts, but I can imagine you want to have kids some day..." Rooney sighed. "I haven't put much thinking to that lately..." "But you want, don't you?" Cate was now looking right in Rooney's eyes. "Yes. Of course I do...but. Well, you know..."

Francesco interrupted that talk to ask if everything was ok with their meal. He was so friendly that Cate invited him to drink a glass of wine with them. So they spoke for an hour about the michelin stars in NY, and the italian restaurants that Cate had visited in Toscany some years ago. It was a delightful conversation, with lots of memories and jokes and questions about food that Cate and Rooney asked Francesco.

All of a sudden it was mid night, time has flown. Rooney payed the check while Cate went to the toilets.

It was a warm night in NY, since they drank some wine they were talking a little louder and Cate reached her hand to Rooney's. She approached Rooney and whispered "Oh god I think I'm a bit drunk but I am ready to continue that conversation that took place in the living room just before dinner." "Oh you are now?!"

Rooney felt really amused because this was nothing like Cate was expecting. They were walking towards West Vilage and Rooney noticed that Cate was not paying attention to the fact they were not heading home. She kept on talking about a french movie she had seen just before coming to NY and she thought Rooney would like "I can see it with you, I don't mind." "Yes. Let's watch a movie tomorrow, or we should go to the theatre." "YES. What a great idea, let's see Hamilton!"

"Hey - Rooney was excited, "Come here"

All of a sudden they were rushing down some stairs to a kind of a basement. "Hi welcome to 55!" They entered in this jazz club with an amazing atmosphere. It felt really cozy and intimate, the ultimate sleazy basement in NY. They found a table and asked for wine. "You never cease to surprise me, I'm overwhelmed by you." This was going really well to Rooney. All that she planned for that evening was taking place just like she wanted. They heard the jazz band that was playing for about an hour and had some small talk, although the talk was never small between them.

"Shall we go?"

"Where? Rooney acted surprised and funny, she wanted to tease Cate. "Home, please?!" "Oh you want to go home?" Anyone who looked at those two could see their chemistry, they were talking pretty close to each other, smiling and gazing to one another.

"I need you, I want you, please." Cate was so mellow, so sweet and tender with her words.

"Ok, you win. I will call a UBER."

"Oh, you're amazing, you're always up to date!"

"No, I'm always up to Cate!"

They both giggled. And went HOME.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey! Thank you for all the comments. I found out I'm not an expert in writing sex scenes. ;) Please let me know your thoughts on this.

* * *

"Cate? Are you comfortable?" "Yes I am very much comfortable, my love." Cate was reading, lying in bed in that sunny New York morning. "We need to talk ..." "About Kevin?" "Oh You Tilda!" Rooney giggled. "What do you want to talk about, come here." Cate raised her arms to Rooney. "So Sunday you are going away...What about us?."

"Hey...I was thinking...I don't know your favourite colour. Never asked you that, you never told me." "Hmmm. Well..." "No! Don't say it. I think I know. - Cate was excited! - I'm going to wear your favourite colour on Sunday. And monday I'm wearing your favourite colour to travel to LA. And then I'm going to wear your favourite colour to attend Women in Film in LA. What a great idea!" "Oh you can not!" "Yes I can, and you know what, if I get it right, I get a prize..."

"You are going to fail Cate, I am not seeing you attending to awards wearing my favourite colour. It's not possible!" "Well, try me! If I get it right you won't be mad at me for 3 months, or feel angry about me returning to my family, you will think of 1000 possible ways for us to meet each other. You will come to London and meet me in the rain. You will write me love letters, you will sex text me, you will wait for me to come to you and take off your clothes and kiss you like this, and whisper in your ear how much I love you." Rooney was feeling melancholic. Just two days until sunday and they would say goodbye. _Again._

"You told me you might come to LA." "Oh yes, but I won't. I have work outside NY". "Do you want to be my date at the Tonys?" Cate blinked. Rooney was now feeling pretty much sad about what was coming. She emotionally relied on Cate in a way she didn't to anyone else. "Hey, my sweetheart come to me, what is the matter? Please, talk to me." Cate was playing with Rooney's hair as she started to cry on Cate's lap. "Oh, please let me hold you so so close, my sweetest thing." "I don't know if I can do it this time..." "Rooney. Please, of course you can. Ok? Let's get the best out of what we have left, ok? And let's just try to make things different this time? Ok?" Cate was always so self assured, confident and it was easy to pass it to Rooney, not only with that warm embrace, but also with those powerful words, she could make anyone believe in what she was saying. It was easy. "I have a surprise for you tonight. Ok?" Rooney looked up to Cate and smiled brushing the tears. "You do?" "Yes. But you have to be in another mood, otherwise it won't work. Do you think you can manage to be in a good mood for me?" "Like what?" "Well, I can think of many ways of entertaining you tonight..." "Hmm, hmm.. and why don't we begin now?" "Because we have much to do, you told me you wanted to go to central park. So let's get some fresh air."

"Tonight is on me!" Cate proudly stated. "Oh is it?" "And what are we doing? Sleeping?" "You bet...you have much sleep to do when I get away...!" Cate tried to lighten up things about the departure, but it was not easy for Rooney.

"Can you call one of your UBERS?" "Yes, let's do it, where do you wanna go?" "Greenwich Village!" "OK"

They had a table for Miss Blanchett previously booked. The waiter recognised both of them but he was very discrete. Cate gave him a huge tip in the end for that.

"Do you remember when we first met?" Cate asked, while drinking some wine, She was flirtatious. "Well, how could I forget: February 1st 2014! Did you hear my speech, my voice was broken." "It was really weird...all that situation, I don't know, I felt something, I remember feeling awkward, I don't know how I can explain this to you. It was..." Cate continued on the memory lane. "...and then we went to have dinner and you didn't talk, I was trying to get something out of you and were like: YES, NO, MAYBE ahahah" "Well, am I allowed to be shy around the goddess the first time we meet?" Cate paused. "Oh. Don't! I'm so down to earth, you know me. I'm just a regular boring person..." "Oh yes, of course, but you are the prettiest woman on earth, you maybe the most smartest one, you read books. It's so sexy. I love watching you read, see your body language, how you hold your book, what you do to your hands, the way you put your glasses, the way you cross your legs..." Rooney felt she was travelling. "You know what? I find you deeply in love with me. In an overwhelming way, let's say, do you think that that feeling will go easily way?" "No, Cate I don't." "hmm... because, you know, I've been watching you these past few days and I've noticed some little things about you that I want to keep so private, in a way that they can feed my love for you when we are apart. Do you know what I mean? Like when I ask you to choose a record for us, and you freeze. It's so cute, because how could a musical expert like you freeze with such a simple order?" "It's easy to freeze around you...!" "Oh is it? I thought that you got hot around me..." Rooney didn't know how to react to this kind of jokes, so fast, so funny.

"That day, when we first met, I arrived to the hotel thinking about you. But I thought it was normal, since I've looked for you since, well forever!" "Don't say that!" "It's true. Do you know for how long you've been in my life?" Now it was Rooney's turn to make a joke. "Ok I'm so old." "You're not, you're beautiful." They gazed at each other, while drinking that glass of wine." "I want so much to kiss you right now, Cate!" "I can see it in your amazing eyes, I love the way you look at me, it's compelling, makes me want to discover things about you that I don't know yet. Is there any thing I haven't discover about you?" "I hope there is..."

The food arrived. There was always something coming up between them when they were having these kind and intimate moments. The waiter was very slow and polite in his movements, Cate was delighted she chose that restaurant.

"Well, they already knew we were shooting Carol. We already knew we were shooting in a few months right?" "Cate, it was a month after, of course we knew...oh god, your memory!" "I'm the worst." "I was nervous about Carol." "Why?" "Well, many reasons, because it took so long for that project to see the light of the day, and honestly... I wasn't sure about you...don't get me wrong my love. It was a thought back then when I didn't know you. YOU DIDN'T SPEAK, it was weird. NO. YES. MAYBE. - Cate tried to do an impersonation of Rooney - I felt an urge to speak to you and you were always quiet." Rooney laughed. "You are aware that you spent most of the Carol shooting quiet and in your own thoughts and would only speak to me about work?" "Yes! That's the way I am, and then... you won my heart." "I did, didn't I?!" Cate smiled proud of herself. "It wasn't easy." "Don't say that, it was the easiest thing you ever did." Cate touched Rooney's hand and played with her fingers "I adore your hands..."

Cate remembered it all started with their hands, one day they got alone having dinner in the shooting. They were comparing hands, and talking about the fact that Carol had painted nails, and Cate didn't like it "It's really rare for me to use painted nails, and I've noticed you too..." _Well this is one shallow point of entry._ Rooney nodded, "Yes". All of a sudden Cate was showing Rooney how did they put that red nails above her original ones. "Look do you see this? It's like the wigs, they really know what they're doing".

"Do you remember honey? It was like we were looking up to our details, so we could in a way find each other to connect, don't you think?" "Yes, and then you touched me and we just holded hands in that restaurant in Cincinatti and stayed in silence looking at each other. I can tell you I was feeling something really hot in my body". "Yes. Me too, it was weird, we didn't speak, and then we just went to bed, and had sex for the first time. And the only thing you said in bed was YES, YES, YES!" They both laughed louder than anyone in the room! This was just another dinner between those two, the talks never cease to get boring or even if they had silent moments it was so very comfortable.

"Should we walk?" "Yes, it's just some blocks away, or are you taking me somewhere?" Cate whispered to Rooney's ear "Now...I'm taking you home, and you don't know what I have in mind right now".

It smelled comfortably home and quiet. Rooney turned on some lights and asked Cate if she wanted to stay for a while in the living room, or... "To my room?" she asked teasing Rooney. She decided to play the game "Yes, Miss Blanchett you sleep in your room, I sleep in mine." "Oh you really..." Cate got closer to Rooney, it felt intense. They didn't want to stop what was coming. But Cate had something in mind. "Hey you - she whispered in Rooney's hear. Can you wait 5 minutes?" "No, I don't think I can." "What if I told you it's gonna be totally worth it?" "hum..." "You seat here and I will call you when I'm ready, ok?" Rooney stayed in silence watching Cate go away. _OH god I can not resist her, she's so the love of my life, my god what will I do?_

"Honey...I'm ready for you..."

Rooney followed Cate's voice, and entered the room where they made love some days before. Cate wasn't nowhere to be found. "Cate?" "I'm here" She whispered from the toilet. "So now you're going to put a record for us to hear, and if I like the music I will go out for you." Rooney stood still for a while. _God I'm paralysed. Ok ok ok focus Rooney._

"I'm waiting..." Cate whispered.

"Yes, just a minute, please! Meanwhile what are you doing inside the toilet please come here."

"Only when you do everything I want you to".

Rooney chose a playlist she had made two years before, when they first got together. _Ok I think this a good one._

"OK I'm hearing some music. Now undress yourself, lay down in bed and cover your eyes, please."

"What? No way"

"Way, lady. Take off your clothes and if you don't blindfold your eyes I won't come out..."

"Ok..." Rooney had a blindfold in the closet, she went looking for it. She didn't take all the clothes, she had her dark lace lingerie.

"I'm ready!"

"Are you really?" "Yes, please, what are you up to. Come here." "Ok lay down in bed. And if you take your blindfold you won't sleep with me this night. Understood?" "Oh you're so bossy...come here." Rooney was aching in desire and the wait was excruciating.

Cate got out of the toilet, and she was so excited about this moment, after all that Rooney did the past days, she decided that Rooney deserved some action. Rooney was lying in bed facing the ceiling. Cate slowly sat on Rooney's... "Can you feel me?" Rooney started her journey through Cate's body. "Oh is this why you didn't let me touch you before dinner? Oh GOD! Oh my God" "I'm not your god, I'm your goddess" Cate whispered, while she took Rooney's hand to undress her silk robe. "Yes you are my goddess, good lord. You're so hot..." Rooney felt Cate's lingerie, it had a special touch, she could feel Cate's breasts underneath them, her tights... "Where should I begin?" "I don't know where do you want to begin, but I surely know what I want to do right now with our body" And so she started to rub Rooney's body really slowly. While she teased her loved one near the neck "There's no way we're are sleeping tonight... Please take my bra and do what you suppose to." Rooney felt Cate's smell all over and felt inebriated. She took Cate's bra and pulled it away. "I'm so in to your body, you can not imagine, please let me see you." "I want to torture you...I want you to imagine what you have in hands, I want you to use your hands and your mouth". "Oh Cate! You are amazing..."

"I like the song, this is so you, my love, sing for me." As she said this she took the blindfold of Rooney's face and they faced each other.

And so Rooney whispered in Cate's ear

 _Now you have it, so baby tell me what's the word?_  
 _Am I your gal, or should I get out of town?_  
 _I just need to be reassured_  
 _Do you just deal it out, or can you deal with_  
 _What I lay down?_  
 _Please forgive me, for my distance_  
 _The pain is evident in my existence_  
 _Please forgive for my distance_  
 _The shame is manifest in my resistance_  
 _To your love, to your love, to your love_

They had such a strong connection that sex was the best way to prove it. The way they got involved with each other was intense, sometimes in a hurry, others languid and luxurious. Whenever they reached a climax, they would hold each other really close and say loving and tender words to each other. And then one of them would break the moment and start another journey using their bodies, consummating the love they shared and felt, and those moments they wanted to relish forever in their hearts.

"Hey, what time is it?"

"Let me check my phone...well it's 4 AM" Rooney laughed, they were in bed for the last 3 hours.

"Do you want to sleep? I don't want to sleep, I just want to look at you and talk about sex." They started a comfy conversation.

The next day would be the last they spend together. They just didn't want to sleep.

* * *

When they first met : /hp4ystr

Fiona Apple song: watch?v=qget5OwgEzM

BLACK: **/hdfh3gz**

BLACK: **/zqxu3tp**

and BLACK: **/zkqukkt**


	7. Chapter 7

So this is the final chapter of this meeting in NY. I think I won't write for a while now. I hope you enjoyed as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

* * *

They woke up that morning with an avalanche of feelings, it was quite comfortable waking next to each other. "Can we stay here for a while? Please...I just want to hold you in the sun so tomorrow I can remember all these moments with you". Rooney opened the blinds and the window and got back to bed. "What about breakfast in bed?" "Oh that would be so great, but stay here just for a while, I want to hold you, please..." Cate was mellow. The cuddling was cute, they giggled, and kissed, and played with each others hair, gave hands, talked.

"Hey I was thinking about inviting Todd, Phyllis and Sarah over for dinner, I think they are all in NY right now, what do you think about that for today?" Cate didn't love the idea. "Oh what about a last date for us?" "I don't want a last nothing for us, Cate, please. Can we make it lighter?". I will ask Bertha do cook a dinner, they will come over, we'll have some talks and they they will go away, ok? "Fine."

"Can I cook you breakfast?" "Of course, do you want some help?" "No, you stay here. Choose music for breakfast!" Cate blinked.

Cate was an expert in the kitchen, in some few minutes she cooked some scrambled eggs, squeezed a few oranges, fetched some bread and croissants, she arranged everything in a plate, with butter, jelly, ham, some sausages, bred and croissant. In addition to the orange juice there was tea and coffee.

"There you are, my love. I hope you don't starve."

Rooney had a happy and enthusiastic smile on her face. "Oh you are the greatest! Oh yes!"

"So what are you up to today? You have things to do right?" "Right! I have to meet Hylda, and we're going to see the dresses for tomorrow and some other stuff." Cate mocked "I'm going to try the _your favourite colour dress_ " "Oh Cate, what if you fail?" "What if...? I won't fail. But if I do you can punish me for not knowing you well. - Cate paused, Do you think I know you well?" "better than anyone else...in fact." "So, piece of cake."

"Ok, what time are you leaving? I'll call Bertha." "Around noon, and maybe back by 6."

They showered together after breakfast. Rooney went to the bath tub first, Cate was doing some calls, so that she could have time for a proper bath with her lover. When she entered the shower she found Rooney's body naked - but it was always like the first time, she had her eyes closed enjoying the water drops in every inch of skin. Cate carefully approached Rooney and started to wet herself. Their bodies were dangerously close, they could feel the breasts touching each other, the water pouring down, as Rooney lean down to the tiles, Cate started to touch her, first in the back, than caressing the shoulders with her mouth. They had a long and wet kiss, one that could've not ended. While they kissed Cate would travel her hands through Rooney's body, grabbing her ass, feeling her legs, touching her nipples, first softly and then roughly. Rooney started to show some signs of being extremely horny and heartwarming.

"You are the most amazing lover, did you know?"

"Oh you'll have to repeat that after this..."

Cate started to touch Rooney in her inner thighs, much to Rooney's appreciation and consent. She decided to act slowly.

"How long is gonna take for you to just give me an orgasm?"

Cate was satisfied. "The long as it takes, and these kind of things sometimes take really long, you know? You have to be really patient."

"Oh god Cate, please. Touch me...please. You know were." Cate was now holding Rooney from the back. Kissing her neck, putting her fingers in Rooney's mouth. "I love every inch of your body..." She whispered in the Rooney's ear. "Love your lascivious mouth, your mysterious look, love to suck your nipples like this, I love the way you touch your hair, I love the way you smile..." "Cate please..." "And there's so many things I love about you I wouldn't leave. I love your belly - Cate was getting down and the tension between them grew, "And I love knowing exactly where you want to be touched..." Cate was now touching Rooney where she asked, and Rooney was in a trance.

"I m gonna faint with so much pleasure." "Hold on...I'm not finished yet."

"Cate please let's turn the water down and finish this in bed." Cate was so turned on that she agreed with Rooney's idea, they went to bed and just finished what they have started. It was rough, and intimate, with lots of talking between the action. They knew how to communicate while they had the most pleasurable and amazing sex.

"Oh god, this is so good. MY goodness, you make me feel like I'm 20 again!" Cate stated! "You look 19" Rooney mocked.

"Ok should we take a serious bath now?" "Oh the previous one was not serious?" "Oh it was really serious missy! But now let's wash ourselves!" "I think that's dangerous, do you want to wash my back?" Rooney was in a good mood.

Cate went out and Rooney called Bertha, Todd, Sarah and Phyllis. They were all attending dinner that night at Rooney's, who said Cate was in town. Rooney left to do some shopping while Bertha arrived to the apartment. Some hours after there was no sign from Rooney when Cate arrived.

Bertha opened the door to Cate.

"Hi, I'm Bertha from Brooklyn!"

"Hi, I'm Cate from Sydney!"

They greeted each other with a smile. "Is Rooney home already?" "No Miss Blanchett" Cate acted surprise. "OK...ahmm" "You can come in please, make yourself at home!"

Cate decided to go to the balcony with a book, her iPad, the phone and a script she had to read. The balcony looked like a garden, it was large enough to have a table, chairs, a large sofa and some chaise-longues. It had many plants and some trees. It was pretty comfortable. Cate called home talked to the kids and Andrew.

She started to read but she fell asleep. The nights were long with Rooney, they didn't get much sleep.

When Rooney arrived, she talked to Bertha about dinner and asked her to set the table. Bertha told Rooney that Miss Blanchet was resting in the balcony, and smiled with complicity. _It could be like this forever._

Rooney approached the chair where Cate was sleeping but she didn't want to wake her. She just sat next to her, answering some texts and watching her email. All of a sudden Cate realised she was there and asked for her. "Come to me please, I need you next to me". And so Rooney helped Cate waking up from her sleep. They stayed there for a while, sometimes in silent moments, others just talking somethings through. The cuddling was endless. "your smell...I never get tired of it...never."

By 8'oclock the guests arrived. Todd brought some wine, Sarah brought ice cream and Phyllis brought cheese. It was all set. They all embrace themselves and no one found awkward that Cate's was so homie, not just around the house, but also around Rooney. If there was something between them they all knew and it wasn't an issue between them.

The conversation was light and entertaining all over dinner, each and every one talked about their new projects, of course there were some jokes about Carol, about the awards season, about the Hollywood state of mind. "We should all work together again! It would be so fun! I would pay for that" Cate stated! "Let's do Therese!" They all laughed. "First Carol, now Therese!" Todd replied.

At 1 o'clock in the morning they went way and both Rooney and Cate were satisfied about that dinner. "So... - Cate was hesitant, they both knew the difficult moments that were just about to come, Cate would leave early in the morning and they would have to say goodbye. Rooney was silent. "Let's get some sleep, she grabbed Cate's hand and they both headed to their room. "I'm going to brush my teeth and take my make up...are you ok?" "Yeah...I might do that too, I'll wait for you". While Cate was in the toilet, Rooney was laying in bed thinking of those moments they had together and the painful it would be to let Cate go the morning after, she was extremely sad. "Honey, do you want to come?" "Rooney laughed and met Cate in the toilet.

They stayed in bed holding in each other for a long while before they fell asleep. "Let's not get sad please, we had such amazing days these days Rooney, my love". "Ok, I'll try that". Rooney's voice was not promising. "Are you going to watch the Tony's tomorrow? Or you have things to do?" "Of course I'm going to watch, I'll watch you fail in my favourite colour, and then I'll think about the little punishments I'm going to apply to you Miss Blanchett." "Oh I'm so positive I'm going to nail it! You can't even imagine". They both giggled and cuddled themselves with kisses and embraces and eventually fell asleep in each others arms.

The next morning Cate woke up with Rooney's phone ringing. "Honey your phone has been ringing for ten minutes now, don't you want to check it?" Cate spoke in a low voice next to Rooney. "Oh ok, I'll be right back."

"Hey Roons, sorry, have you checked the news?" "No what's happening?" "There's been a shooting in Orlando, many casualties, I'm in shock" Kate stated.

Rooney rushed to Cate and turned on the TV for the first time since she arrived. "Oh my god..." They were both shocked and remained in silence while hearing what happened at the disco in Orlando. "what a bastard..." "It could have been us! My god" Cate called Hylda to know if she knew, and if there was some changing in their planning. "No changes Cate, please meet me at noon in the hotel, ok?" "OK!"

They took breakfast together and showered. There was a sad atmosphere between them. Not only about what happened in Orlando, but also about what was happening between them. How would they figure to meet each other for the next months? There was some apprehension in the air.

"Hey come here you amazing piece of human kind. How will I survive without your smell? WHo's hands I'm I going to feel in my back when I wake up at night?" "You can not feel my smell right now since we are in the bath" Cate laughed. They finished got dressed. Rooney would meet her sister for lunch and Cate had to rush in to the hotel. They were both late.

Everything was set. They faced each other for a moment. "I feel we didn't talk much" "Oh you really? That's amazing! Don't you think? Can you imagine the talks we'll have in the future". _Future, what future?_ "Come here..." Cate opened her arms and embraced Rooney in that strong bond they had. They stayed like this for a while breathing in each others. "You know, we're like a glue that collects each and every part of us in what we share and build together. I love you Rooney. I have no solutions, but I know what I feel about you". Rooney couldn't help but falling apart in tears, "I love you too so much."

"I'll call you ok? Please think about my prizes" Cate blinked. They didn't want to fuss about saying goodbye.

Cate went to meet Hylda and she had to get herself together otherwise she would have to talk, and in fact that's what happened. Rooney went to meet Kate and she was falling apart and they talked about what happened the previous days.

Later that evening the Tony's were about to start, and Rooney turned on the tv with a glass of wine and a table of cheese to see the red carpet.

Cate texted Rooney from the car. "I'm about to arrive, I hope they have a camera on me just for you to see."

Rooney was nervous. Nobody was filming Cate.

After a while there it was Cate Blanchett being photographed by dozens of photographers, looking graceful, young and in a perfect mood. She looked astonishing, how could Rooney ever doubt that Cate would fail in choosing her favourite colour? She looked amazing, Rooney couldn't contain her excitement. "Oh god! Oh god!" She grabbed her phone.

"YOU LOOOK AMAZING, I can not contain myself. You are the prettiest woman on earth. Really bold choice, everybody's going to talk about that dress. You really... Oh god I don't even have words, you are beautiful. You look so graceful".

It took a while for Cate to answer. "Black is your favourite colour honey."

"It is. My god I can not believe this, I'm so excited. I want you. Now".

"Come and get me. I'll go."

It was a few hours until they exchanged texts again. Rooney repeated. "I want you." and Cate repeated "Come and get me. I'm going just to show up at the after party and then you can get me, I'm all yours you can do whatever you want."

Cate was supposed to sleep in the hotel to rush to Los Angeles the next morning. But she didn't care and she did know that in that afternoon it was not goodbye to Rooney. She felt. At 2am she called Rooney and asked if she would come and get her. "Are you serious? What about the hotel?" "We can go to the hotel if you prefer, but I think we have more privacy at your place" _your place, not home anymore. "_ OK, I'm gonna drive, I'll pick up in the back door in 10 minutes, call you when I get there". "There you go. I'll wait."

There was a huge urgency between them. They just wanted to arrive home and undress themselves.

"I want you, I just want you now!" Rooney was in a trance of desire for Cate. She was all over Cate's body who was delighted with so much desire. "I'm yours. I'm all yours."

They didn't get a minute of sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

It's been a while since the last time they spoke. The distance always had this effect, Cate was with her family and minding her work, and Rooney kept some distance. Inevitably they grew apart. It wasn't a thoughtful decision between them, just the natural effects of living in different countries and having a family and an impossible relationship. The rationality they had only came when they were apart. Despite the desire, the urgency they felt for each other, they both knew this was a dead end. The current status of the relationship was crystal clear.

Cate stood in front of the mirror. No makeup. She was wearing a purple bra and large and comfortable pants. She looked at herself and thought about what was going on. In a short while she would travel to Australia to start filming and she had no clue about this new movie. Since she came back from the US in June Cate tried to make amends with Andrew, after all, they had a solid marriage and 4 kids to take care. Cate felt like a natural thing to do, despite the contradictions about desiring another person. She didn't care much about Andrew or Rooney understanding this situation, she thought all of them had to take some time to think what they were living. And everybody had their flaws. She could actually feel in love with Andrew and be grateful for that.

But then she thought about what she had lived with Rooney, and each and every moment they shared, and most of all the connection they had. Not only the physical one, but the emotional and spiritual connection. Cate saw in Rooney more like a similar soul, despite their differences, despite their personalities being so divergent. She could see Rooney as no one else, she had a profound knowledge about her, and a connection which was not easily described. It was different from Andrew, in whom Cate saw someone who complemented her. A carrier, someone who always took care of her, no matter what.

It has been a while since the last time they spoke. It was always Cate's enterprise. Calling, texting, writing an email. And she didn't bother about that, she knew Rooney well. Cate was the one who took action. Rooney stood still thinking, revolving around the facts.

"Hi, Rooney. Can I call you later?"

Rooney didn't take 5 minutes to answer.

"Of course."

Short and straight to the point.

But now that they started this chat conversation, Cate felt some urgency and didn't want to stop.

"How are you?"

"Fine. And you?"

Cate took a long while until she answered the last text from Rooney. Meanwhile she had a salad for lunch and drank some ice tea, always with her cell phone with her, typing and erasing.

"I wish you were just next to me right now. And I would tell you about the book I'm reading from an amazing italian author that no one knows who she is. She was nominated for the man booker prize. The story is about two friends and their life in Naples. Amazing. I thought you might like it. Well, they talk much about mixed feelings. And that just what I'm thinking about".

As usual, Rooney was clear and straight to point.

"What do you have mixed feelings about?"

"Us."

Cate's answer left no room for Rooney to make questions. Now it was up to Rooney to lead the conversation. Cate was upset she had shared something that she considered very private - the book she was reading, and Rooney didn't say a thing.

"Cate, please, call me later and I'll try to figure about your mixed feelings. I have fucking feelings."

And Rooney sent a second text

"And don't know how to deal with them".

Cate felt a pain in her chest. Clearly she didn't deal with their situation the same way Rooney did. And the last conversations they had back in New York were not clear or settled for Rooney. The distance had this effect.

"I'll call you tonight."

"Ok"

Once again they were in the starting point. Everything seemed difficult between them. Rooney found herself crying again all over this situation. She had a different perspective from Cate, who had another maturity and was very confident about her choices.

Rooney went out to find Charlie in the coffee shop next to her apartment. Like Cate she also decided to look out after their relationship and nurture what they had. They were about to shoot a movie together, Charlie and her. The thing about this relationship to Rooney was that it wasn't complicated, she cared about Charlie and she knew Charlie cared about her.

Later that afternoon she told Charlie she wanted to be alone in the apartment. That same apartment where she lived such unique moments with Cate some time before, that seemed an eternity. She listened to the last Radiohead record and fetched some stuff to read in the balcony, waiting for that call. The anxiety was the first and only emotion her body and mind knew. There was no space left for any concentration to read or anything. She googled Cate Blanchett just to see some pictures of her. _This is not the Cate I know, it's just an image, a construction of a person._ She dropped the phone feeling awkward.

"Hey you..."

Rooney remained in silence for a bit until she decided to answer.

"Hi..."

Filling the spaces between the words was not an easy task for them when they spent so much time not talking to each other. On the other hand the silence was not that disturbing.

"How is New York?"

"Quite hot actually, I think I'm going to melt soon, and then there's not going to be a Rooney anymore".

"That would be a shame!"

"Oh yeah" Rooney nodded unconfident.

"Where are we now?" Cate asked.

"I don't know...no where I suppose...you are living you own life..."

"And you are living yours, it's not just me, you know. Rooney please, don't be hard on us. We don't deserve."

"Ok. So do you have anything in mind?"

And Rooney continued. "Because it's very hard not to be damn hard on ourselves. We are just a bubble that breaths some oxygen when your agenda allows..."

Cate stood silent, she felt Rooney's last sentence like a punch in her stomach, as she was just going to suggest a meet in Paris. How would she turn the situation around?

"You know I've been working out?" She decided to light up the conversation.

"Oh you, really?! Why?"

"This next movie I'm going to do: Thor, I decided to stay fit." Cate was smiling while saying this words. And it was irresistible for Rooney, she would laugh all along.

"Do you have a six pack? I'd love to see your abs!" Immediately after she stated this, she felt it was really bold of her.

"Oh! Miss Mara!"

"You made me laugh! That's nice, you have this ability!"

"Only this?" Cate laughed again.

"Well... you know... I don't need to tell you your abilities you know them well!"

"Oh do I?"

"Yes you do Miss Blanchett, don't mock with me!"

"OK, can I show you my abilities live?"

"Hum...where?"

"In Paris..." Cate was not so confident right now.

"In Paris?"

"Yes, I'm going to Paris next week to an Armani show. Would you like do meet me in Paris?"

"NEXT WEEK?"

"Yes, Rooney next week. I'll book a flight for you..."

"You don't need to. I'll have to take some time to consider this...proposal."

"Don't take more than a week" Cate was trying to clean the air.

"What was that book that you were reading?"

"Oh...I'll give it you in Paris. I promise. You know...I miss you, and I think about you everyday. Please consider my offer, I'm not being stubborn or acting like a spoiled child. I don't think of you, of us when my agenda allows, and we're not a bubble. I'm trying to find an opportunity to be with you. And since we've been in NYC this is the first time I have an opportunity to be with you... We need to talk things through again. I need you, I miss your smell, and your look, and everything else."

Rooney stayed in silence foi a while.

"You don't have anything to say?"

"No Cate, I don't have anything to say now. I don't know...it seems that I'm the one who feels angry about all this situation. Because you know I miss you so much, and yet I see you so calm and quiet it seems you don't feel the same way."

"Do I have to feel angry to miss you Rooney?" Cate was upset but she didn't let Rooney understand that. She knew Rooney well, and knew how to handle that situation. "I've told you before, and I'll repeat once again, this is not easy what we have between us, and once you acknowledge what I feel about you is profound and real and lives with me everyday, you won't feel that way anymore. And I will not rest until you know. Because I know you, and I know how you feel when we stay apart, ok? Don't judge me because I have a different posture from yours. We're different, but have the same feelings towards each other."

Rooney felt suddenly comfortable with Cate's speech.

"So please, can we meet in Paris. And I'll wear your favorite color at the Armani Show!?"

"OK, you win, I'll book a flight to Paris."

Cate felt suddenly filled with joy and excitement about that next week. Some hours before they were so distant and just with a phone call they would meet in Paris. How wonderfull.

"Where are you staying?"

"With you."

Rooney laughed, this was just same old Cate.

"I miss you too. I want to hold you very close and look at your blue eyes."

Cate knew how to soften Rooney, It would take some time, but she knew.

And there it was. A meeting in Paris was almost sealed.


	9. Chapter 9

Hi! Thank you for all the lovely comments!

Here is a short chapter. More to come! Will they meet? Or this is the end?

* * *

It was almost midnight when Cate and Andrew arrived home from a dinner with friends. Cate dismissed the babysitter. "I can never thank you enough, Katie!"

Katie was a 19 year old student who babysit for the kids once in a while. She was extremely shy and extremely talented with the kids. Cate knew her parents from a Theatre Company back in London, and since she was very reliable decided to ask her for the job of taking care of the 4 kids.

"I'm going to bed, are you coming?" Andrew asked in a tender tone.

"I'm not that sleepy, I'm going to check my email and some stuff" Cate was once again a bit distant, it almost looked like she knew what was coming.

The sofa in the living room was so comfortable it felt like it was a professional hugger. Cate relaxed a bit with her book and the laptop. She eventually checked her email, she was absorbed in her own thoughts, and checking random stuff on the internet. And there it was an email from Rooney. She read it in a heart beat. When she started the second paragraph, suddenly without a notice, there were tears rolling down her face. Her heart had a different pace, that pace she felt whenever Rooney was around. Those words had an emotional outcome she was not expecting, and knowing she was the one who took care of their issues, this time around she couldn't figure out any solutions. Rooney didn't want to go to Paris.

 _Cate,_

 _After a thoughtful consideration I decided I won't meet you next week in Paris. It would be an excellent opportunity to see you, walk around Paris talking and laughing with you, like the time we had in New York, but I can not deal with the consequences. Everytime you go away I feel emotionally drained, I don't know how you can so easily deal with this situation, but I can't. I can't stand having a glimpse of you for 72 hours and 3 months of distance._

 _Therefore there will be no Paris for us. No New York. No Los Angeles, no London no anything. I can't stand it anymore. I'm deeply sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but the truth is that I'm hurting for quite a long time and I feel my life is a mess due to the intensity that this relationship (we could call it so, right?) caused me. So I decided in order to regain some sanity to keep some distance from you._

 _Believe me, this is not easy for me. But I think it's the best thing to do._

 _Please consider the one thing that is the most reasonable, real and equally hurtful_

 _I loved you. And now I have to transform this feeling into something else, and relish what we lived somewhere inside me. But I can not see you or be with you._

 _Rooney_

Cate couldn't stop reading again and again, the more she read the more painful those words echoed inside her, there was no rational explanation for this situation and the way she felt. Did Rooney really mean this? She _loved_ her? Not anymore? What to do next? Should she call Rooney? Text her? Answer this email?

Cate got up and went to the garden to breath some night fresh air. She couldn't stop those tears from rolling. She was so excited about meeting Rooney in just a few days, imagining hugging her lover, feeling her smell and strolling her hair. Kissing her tender lips and make sweet love to that body that she loved so much. But now all these expectations were torn apart with this email and Rooney's will. She was facing the uncertainty of what was coming. For the first time in this relationship she didn't know how to act, should she insist to keep Rooney close? Or should she just let go and they both would carry on with their lives? Since NY, even though they had such a great time, and those meaningful conversations, Cate noticed Rooney was acting distant, different from the one she new, when words had a touch of intimacy and care, when Rooney filled her voice with enthusiasm and love. But now Rooney didn't want to go to Paris, and didn't want to be with Cate or see her. The one thing Cate knew was that once they were facing each other it was easy for her to talk things through with Rooney. But this distance was really hard on them.

Cate decided she would go to sleep and the next morning she'd call Rooney.

Meanwhile in New York Rooney cancelled all the plans she had for the weekend and decided she would embrace the sadness all by herself alone at home and didn't want to talk to anyone. The decision of not going to Paris, writing that email developed in a unbearable burden for her. There was not anything she wanted more, than being with Cate. But this feeling that they had their relationship in a bubble became increasingly unacceptable. She could not cope anymore. She wanted Cate everytime, everywhere, anywhere, all the time. If not, they couldn't be together anymore. And that was her decision. The only thing she didn't consider was Cate's reaction, and for a moment she started to think about that. She felt selfish and impulsive about that email, but in the end she thought it was the right thing to do. They couldn't be together anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

The next day Cate woke up really early with a heavy head. She could not believe what was happening, she felt so defeated it seemed like something died inside of her. And actually it was kind of true. The love she shared with Rooney apparently was dying, since Rooney didn't want to feed it anymore. She was confused about the way she would approach Rooney. In one hand she knew Rooney was right, how could they have a long distance relationship, spending some days together once in a while, both having longterm relationships and, of course their jobs. It was not their jobs that worried Cate, in fact it was the least concern, it was the scrutiny that she didn't like. She thought her job was not a definition of the person she was. And she knew that Rooney was aware of that. On the other hand, the relationship they had, the way they loved each other, the way they connected from the beginning it was so unique to Cate, she wouldn't share this with anyone else. For the first time in years she was feeling the drama in her heart, in her brain. She couldn't stop thinking about this situation and she agreed with Rooney, it was a dead end. As thoughts flew over her head she found herself crying again. She couldn't stop that amount of sadness.

"Cate what's wrong dear? You're crying?!" Andrew was worried.

"Yes. I am crying Andrew. I need to cry, ok? Please leave it be."

"But what's wrong? Anything with your mother?"

"No Andrew, it's nothing with our family, please."

"OK."

Andrew left Cate alone in the kitchen. It was a beautiful saturday morning, the day that Cate usually spends in the market buying groceries, flowers, and hanging around the village. Some times kids would make her company, others she would go alone. But not today. She wasn't in the mood. She had to talk to Rooney. She would have to wait a few hours to call, since it was yet very early in NY. If only she knew that Rooney was wide awake, didn't get any sleep and was taking pills for a huge head ache. _Why don't they make pills for heart ache_ , Rooney wondered.

She also wondered if Cate would call. She was now regretting that email. But there was no way back. What if Cate didn't say a word? In a her most profound and rational self she knew this was the right thing to do. But she regretted so much, that she couldn't stop feeling angry at herself by denying some days with Cate in Paris. Paris, that amazing city where love can flourish. But she soon realized there was no way back. No way. It felt like the end.

Eventually Rooney got some sleep, until her phone rang. It felt like a shocking awakening, Rooney was confused, it took a while to understand what was really happening. On the other side of the line, on the other side of the atlantic ocean, Cate was impatient waiting for Rooney to answer. And she didn't. Nothing. Cate was anxious and eager to talk to Rooney, no matter what the outcome of that conversation would be. She tried again.

Rooney had a choked voice:"Hello." After waiting for Rooney to answer the first time, Cate wasn't expecting Rooney answering at the first ring. "Hey..." Her voice was serious.

They remained silent, almost hearing each other breathing. It was not uncomfortable, it was in part sad, in part somewhat familiar. They were used to be in silence over the phone with each other.

Cate broke the silence, very hesitant "I thought...after last week, we agreed we would meet...in Paris. Paris, Rooney." "Yes we did, but I had to give some thought to our situation, and decided it was not the best..." Cate didn't let Rooney finish her sentence, and one could feel a certain tone of anger. "And you decided that alone, I thought we'd agree to talk things through, even when you have your doubts. I'm sick of your doubts and your one sided decisions." Rooney lowered her voice "There you are, isn't this the best decision? We have to be apart. You are sick of me." "Rooney, please, I didn't say that, please don't be unfair."

The silence fell between them again. The phone call couldn't have a sadest atmosphere. Rooney could hear Cate crying, it was more than crying, it was a desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained all of hope.

"Sorry Rooney. I don't know why I'm like this...crying over this stupid phone. Do you want to say anything before I hang up the phone?" Rooney was completely stalled. "Cate...I..." Cate got herself together. "You don't have to say anything Rooney. Maybe we can speak in good terms in the future. For now if this is what you want, I will respect your will. Stay well." On the other side Rooney didn't have any proper words, and she remained in silence with the tears filling her eyes and rolling down her face as she closed her eyes with the strength of the feelings she had towards Cate.

Cate hang up the phone.

Later that evening, Cate sat in that couch, drinking a glass of white wine, after the house was in total silence. The kids were in bed and Andrew was reading in the other living room. She was now much cooler than she was when she called Rooney. It was the rational thing to do. But before she put an end to this she decided to write an email to Rooney.

My only one, Rooney,

 _Until this last phone call I could not believe that you really wanted to put an end to our story. For me it was totally out of the blue. I knew from the beginning, from that day when our hands touched for the first time that this wasn't an easy situation, but, what is life if it's easy? I don't know easy. I'm no easy, and you are not easy either. It's been two years and something, and iIalways had this thought that I could lead you in to us. Because we both know that I am a peaceful mind and your are a restless one, and together we were a whole. But I also know that the "together" we have is not enough. And you are done. Ok, I understand._

 _I just want to remind you an episode we had once. We were having dinner in Los Angeles and someone asked you something that made you uncomfortable. I was watching you closely, like a spectator in a play. I was excited in a funny way to see how that story would develop, what would be your solution. Your discomfort grew to something else, it looked like you were in panic, and then you probably thought I was there to support you no matter what, and you searched for me. I didn't look away any second. And when our eyes met I tried to restore your confidence with my gaze and maybe a smile. And then you faced that stupid question with another mood. I just want you to know, that no matter what I will always look out for you, and will always be here to restore all the feelings that you have inside of you. For me._

 _I love you Rooney._

 _Cate_

After reading those words Rooney could not believe what she had done the past 24 hours. _Why? Why?_ She thought maybe she preferred she'd never met Cate, because she was now inevitably connected to her. And there was no way she could refrain what she felt. That urgency again, the need to feel her smell, to hug her and to apologize again for her behavior. This was becoming pathological and she need to put and end to this or to turn the relationship around, or even to face this in another way. But would Cate forgive her? Why this had to be so dramatic?

A few hours later, after taking some time to think, she called Hylda Queally. "Hi Hylda it's Rooney Mara, how are you?" Hylda was distrustful. "Hello, Rooney how are you?" "I need to ask a huge favor of you..." "Yes...?" "Can you please tell me when Cate is traveling to Paris and where she is going to stay?"


	11. Chapter 11

Hey! I can not thank you enough for your comments! ;) Some of you asked about the italian writer, It's Elena Ferrante and I highly recommend it. Enjoy Paris!

* * *

That warm morning when Cate arrived in Paris, she felt like the city she knew so well seemed foreign now. As the car drove the wide streets with imposing buildings, that feeling grew inside of her. The sounds of the city were distressing, the cars honking their horns, people walking in the streets and all she saw was worried faces walking around, and backpack tourists. She just wanted to arrive to the apartment and have some time for herself. Hylda had asked her staff to book the best apartment in Saint German de Près and when Cate arrived she had a great welcoming: the fridge was filled with fresh food, fruit, vegetables, wine, champagne, chocolate, different kinds of cheese. The apartment had high ceilings with massive wooden beams that gave a very comforting look to the house. The windows were large and the sun rays were reflecting on the couch and the bookshelves that had books in many languages. The first thing Cate did was to take a look at those books. Outside lays Paris. _Paris, Paris what will I do these days in Paris all by myself? T_ he grid patterns, the bookstores, the restaurants and the art galleries made their own composition, setting a certain tone in the clean air. Cate stood by the window watching the large roofs, the flat ones, the french roofs, so many the eye couldn't catch all of them. She sighed _I wish she was here. Oh well._

The silence between them was excruciating for Cate. Rooney didn't say anything anymore. Not after that email, after that conversation over the phone. _Maybe she's coming to surprise me...She wouldn't._

Against her will, Hylda had given the details Rooney asked, she felt she was betraying Cate, but she also knew this surprise would somehow give a solution to this _issue._ She would apologize later to Cate, acting this secretly was not like them who trusted each other for so many years, so she had mixed feelings about this situation.

Rooney grabbed a UBER outside the airport. She laughed at herself imagine what Cate would say about this. As she drove along the city her heart was racing hard. The city looked luminous, the streets were inviting with all the coffeeshops and people walking around with light clothes. Rooney imagined herself walking around with Cate, feeling infatuated, holding hands, giggling and talking with a mellow voice. And suddenly she was back to reality, what if Cate was so upset she wouldn't want to be with her. It seems that the root of the problems they faced always started and ended up in Rooney. And Cate was the one that with high resilience tried to talk things through and always found out solutions for them. But Rooney was anxious about this time, she had gone too far disrespecting what they had.

The doorman called Cate, who was sitting in the balcony with her laptop working. "Miss Blanchett, you have a visit." Cate was far away. "A visit? So early in the morning?" _Who could that be.. Oh god. "_ Can she go up, Miss Blanchett _?"_ _She... ? No one knows where I'm staying, unless Hylda.._ So she decided to keep the surprise and say yes to the doorman. Since Hylda was in LA, in Cate's mind it could only be one person.

Cate opened the door and said a warm hello. "Hi, I'm Charlotte, I'm assisting you these days for anything you need." Cate felt so disappointed, her face could only show. "Who sent you? Hylda?" And Charlotte, who blushed really hard - who wouldn't? Said yes, and she felt she was not welcomed, so she rushed to a goodbye and was prepared to leave. Cate got back to earth and in her most sweet and polite way asked Charlotte to come in. They sat in the balcony discussing the next few days for an hour.

"Miss Blanchett, I'm sorry to disturb you but you have another visit." _Oh god who could it be now?_ This time around Cate was focusing on work and the schedule for the next days, she thought Hylda maybe sent someone to take care of the dresses or something.

She apologized to Charlotte and went to the main entrance. Cate held the door expecting that someone would show up in the elevator, she was inattentive, forgetful, her thoughts were back in another place. When the elevator doors opened Rooney got out dressing casual jeans, a t-shirt and still having her sunglasses on, Cate thought she was going to faint. Rooney stopped with a safety distance. They remained some few seconds in silence. "Hi..." "I think I'm hallucinating" Cate stated blushing.

"Please come in, I have guests". Cate was too formal, and Rooney found it odd. They went to the balcony where Charlotte was expecting Cate again, she was answering some emails in her Ipad and her attitude was really at ease. Rooney regretted coming to Paris in that very moment. _I'm so stupid_ "Charlotte this is Rooney Mara." Charlotte acted starstruck, and Cate was very much amused with that situation once Rooney had no absolute idea who that young super hot girl was. "It's so nice to meet you! I'm Charlotte." "Yes, Charlotte how are you?".

"Rooney, me and Charlotte are just finishing some business here, maybe you want to make yourself comfortable? Do you need a coffee or something to drink?" _In a way she's acting inviting: "make yourself comfortable", in the other hand she has some "business" to finish with this cool chick, she's hot. Maybe I should fly back to NY. God!_

"Don't worry about me, I was not invited, maybe I should go around the city for a couple of hours." Cate gave a serious look to Rooney.

Once they have come to a standstill, Charlotte was the one who broke the ice. "Actually Cate, I have to go. I have a meeting at 11. Maybe we should talk over the phone later?" "Oh you're so sweet, of course, let me know when you're available and I'll call you." Cate was deliberately acting laconic. She could be the happier person right now, having Rooney by her side. But she was also very angry.

She took Charlotte to the door, and met Rooney in the balcony. For Rooney's surprise Cate sat on a chair and didn't say a word. She remained in silence for a very long while.

"Cate, I..."

"Let me guess, you are going to apologize once again, for being childish, impulsive and disrespectful towards US." Cate didn't look away from the city, never facing Rooney in the eyes. She knew that if she faced Rooney, she would melt and the first thing she'd do would be kissing her.

"Do you want to me to go...?"

"Oh now you want to run away...that's a brilliant idea." Cate was furious. She felt she was always the one who tried to make amends and to comfort the impulsiveness Rooney always had towards them. Now it was Rooney's turn to take action.

Once again there was a silence between them. Rooney breathed deeply, she never stopped looking to Cate, who was sitting in a chair, facing the city. "Look Cate, I'm like this, I'm impulsive, I say things that I regret, but I'm not going to change. I can maybe control myself...I don't know, I'm sorry if I don't have your degree of maturity..." Cate interrupted ironically "Thanks for reminding me how old I am" "Oh Cate please, you know what I am talking about. This is the way I am, and this is the way you love me..." _This was bold._ All of a sudden Cate looked at Rooney, they both shivered in silence. There was no smile in Cate's face, only an intense gaze towards Rooney which they both knew well what it meant. But neither of them wanted to admit it. One thing was the communication they shared in their body language and the other what they built in words.

Cate didn't want to surrender. And Rooney was not an expert in conducting this kind of conversation. She then approached Cate in a courageous attitude and gently touched her hand. Cate never stopped facing the city. But she very much welcomed Rooney's hand in hers. Their hearts were pounding, and feeling each other's skin gave them a sense of wakening in their bodies, the heat they felt was hard to disguise.

"I crossed the atlantic ocean for you, because you deserve this. You deserve the best, you deserve to be loved, and if you want me I promise I can do that. I can love you wherever you want, whenever you want. Cate, I'm sorry if I don't know how to deal with us. Give me a chance..."

Cate was now facing Rooney, she held Rooney's face with both hands and admire for a while her soft skin, breaded her smell, looked compassionately to her eyes and with tears in her eyes she kissed Rooney in her lips. It was a slow, soft and tender kiss, Cate's hands rested first in Rooney's ears caressing them tenderly, then in her back as she pulled Rooney closer to her, and they were now both laying in that long chair. Rooney's arms reached around Cate's neck, and they continued that peaceful and yet so compassionate kiss. As their bodies got closer, it was now not only that kiss who filled their excitement, their hands were all over their bodies and the tension was growing to some urgency between them.

"You know I have been daydreaming of this? Despite the fact that you didn't want me..." "Oh shut up and come here."

"I will, but you must be so tired, overnight flight! I think you should get some sleep."


	12. Chapter 12

Rooney fell asleep in Cate's arms, she was breathing heavily, and it felt like a sweet release of all the worries she had the past days. She slept so profoundly, Cate was able to reach her book and her glasses and manage to read with one arm around Rooney, gently caressing her hair. Cate too was much more relaxed now, after they went to bed and took each others clothes and without further notice made love like they were in a hurry. They were missing their bodies intertwined, and talking closely, almost whispering "I missed you so much, please hurry up, I need you." Cate stated. And so Rooney knew that almost with one touch it was over, they released their bodies with passion and tension until Rooney gave up exhausted.

"You have to rest darling, but don't you think that I'm satisfied". Rooney mumbled. "Hmm, hmm".

"Hi Hylda, how are you?" Cate had a smile in her words, she had left Rooney to sleep in the bedroom and went to the living room to talk to Hylda. But she felt Hylda was hesitant.

"Hi Cate is everything all right?" "Everything is perfect, dear"

"You know I was a bit worried, about what was going to happen, and sorry if you feel that I betrayed you, providing Rooney the information she needed to surprise you."

"You were wonderful, and don't you think that I haven't noticed the Charlotte move" Cate giggled, "Just on time, and god damn you she's really hot!"

"I am a master in love production" "You're surely are!". "Listen, I want to have a nice diner at home with Rooney, do you think Charlotte can take care of it? Who could do the service? There's so many people in the streets I don't feel like going out, I want to have a cosy dinner in the terrace. What do you think?"

"Cate, don't you worry about a thing, what time do you want to have dinner?" "8?" "Don't stay up late, you have a busy morning tomorrow". "don't worry, I'll sleep at 10" Cate mocked.

The living room had a soft atmosphere, Cate thought she always set the tone to the places according to her mood. She was feeling peaceful now that she had Rooney by her side, but she knew that this state of mind would only last the days they'd spend together in Paris. Then they would go back to square one. It began to feel like a vicious cycle that she had to break somehow. And she knew she was the one who had to figure out what they'd do. She wanted to figure out the possibilities between them, even though she couldn't renounce her family, and she didn't want to give up on Rooney either. She sat down in the couch with her book, thinking of all the possibilities".

"Cate?" Rooney called from the bedroom. Cate got up and went to meet Rooney who was still waking up in bed. "Hi sleepyhead, did you sleep well?" Cate sat on the bed with a confident yet distant attitude. And as Rooney was waking up she also sat on the bed because she saw it coming they were going to have a conversation.

"This is serious..." "Yes, we are very serious, Rooney". It was dubious, was it about the relationship they had, or all the trouble that was behind and all over them?

"You told me last week you were with mixed feelings..."

"Yes. Indeed I am, and after you stated that you didn't want to come to Paris, those mixed feelings increased."

"Yeah... I know. I'm an asshole".

"Rooney, the problem for me is not you having doubts" Rooney interrupted, "But you said you were sick of my doubts." "But I misunderstood you, I'm sick of this erratic attitude of yours. One day you come to Paris, the other day you don't want to be with me, today you are an asshole. So, can you please make up your mind?" Cate was increasingly mad with this situation. "I think that's fucked up enough what we have, this ups and downs are killing me Rooney."

Rooney had her arms around her legs, she dropped her head down. "Fuck." "Yeah, fuck, it's that. What should we do? Hum?" "Can you please think of anything? Because I feel it's always up to me. I'm always the one who tries to carry us on. What if I didn't do anything? Maybe we were in non speaking terms since february, right?" "Yes. Maybe. Yes, I think so."

Cate lay down on his back facing the ceiling. Rooney looked at her and touched her, she stroked gently her hair. "Rooney, we are playing with fire", "yes, yes we are indeed" "This continual unravelling of our feelings, the situation we putted ourselves in is very challenging - and actually it feels like an ongoing invitation to keep on searching for solutions." Cate continued philosophical, "Do you think that if we didn't live different lives, if we had other jobs, if we didn't have our families, we would have an ongoing relationship?" "Would we? That's an interesting question, I don't know how to answer. I think that the challenge is exciting. Would we ever met if it wasn't for our jobs?"

"When you were the most happy?" Rooney smiled because she knew well that question. "Now?", "And the least happy?" "Well, just like the movie...Now" "Why?" "Because I'm so in love when I'm with you, and since you have no solutions and I don't have either..." "Yes. I know that". "I've watched the English Patient before I came to Paris. So romantic and sad at the same time."

As Cate was speaking, Rooney undressed her blouse. "I claim the ownership of this shoulder blade". Cate faced Rooney and melted with those words. "You...I don't have any words..." Cate pushed Rooney towards her and they kissed. "Can we talk later?" "Yes. Of course".

They shared a close embrace while caressing each other's skin "I can't melt on my own, I need you to fuel the fire, only you can show me that I can be better, because I'm better with you, I believe in us. Because this, making love to you it's perfection."

Rooney's eyes where filled with kindness. Cate was paralyzed with such an intense moment, and she waited, she waited for Rooney, it was up to her now. "Please, come to me, will you?" As Rooney's moved over Cate's body, their minds were not able to process the pleasure they felt, they were in a trance. Rooney moved first around Cate's breasts and then around the ears whispering softly what would come next. They kissed hard and soft, they moaned with such intensity they both wanted to live this moment so slowly. They felt intoxicated with the excitement, those two bodies dancing with pleasure avoiding doing the same movements twice. "It's you."

They both fell asleep after reaching pushing their bodies to climax many times in a row.

"Cate?","hmmm" "wake up, someone's at the door."

"Oh god! Who could it be now?"


	13. Chapter 13

This is the final chapter. Thanks for all your comments and support.

Cheers!

* * *

Alan was a big guy with curly hair and a welcoming smile. He was standing at the door with Denis and Francine just behind him, holding 2 bags each. As Cate opened the door surprised, he was affectuous and with a superb french accent se stated "Hello Miss Blanchett I'm Alan and will be your chef for the night". Cate couldn't help but smile, but she felt self conscious, she was just wearing a large t-shirt. For a moment she didn't know what to say. "Oh sorry, ok, do you want to come in?" "Yes, Miss Blanchett, don't be worried, we will take care of everything, please give us one hour and a half, maybe two hours." Cate smiled with contentment, ok. "Do you need anything?" "I don't need anything Miss Blanchett." _I love the way he says Blanchett it's so funny. "_ Ok, I'll leave you."

Rooney saw Cate entering the room with a suspicious and funny walk. "What are you laughing about?" "There's three strangers outside!" "What? Why?" "Oh you'll see, for now we are going to take a bath, you and me, me and you." "Are you mad? How am I going to take a bath with three strangers outside?" Cate approached Rooney with a teasing tone and a melodramatic voice "Oh she's not comfortable... Are you going to deny taking a bath with Miss Blanchett?" she tried to impersonate that french accent, while she reached out Rooney and started to tickle her. First in the belly, and then under the arms. Rooney was laughing really hard and begging for Cate to stop, but Cate wouldn't stop, blocking Rooney with her legs "Why should I stop? You are laughing so hard!" And Cate continued and chuckled with such happiness that she believed a moment like this could not be repeated. That's when Rooney regained her forces to turn Cate around and block her arms just above Cate's head. "Who's laughing now?" And Cate continued with the teasing mode, smiling and provoking "Uhhh she's so mad! Are you going to punish me? Hmm, go on, let me see what your imagination can do." Rooney laughed but didn't let go of Cate's arms that were still blocked. Cate was amused. Rooney placed her tongue in Cate's neck and started caressing her neck, and then her chest. Cate didn't want to surrender. "Oh just that, that's not enough!" And then Rooney placed her tongue in Cate's mouth in a luxurious kiss, it was more than kissing her lover, it was languid, passionate, compelling and urgent. Cate moaned with pleasure, Rooney then let go her arms and they placed their hands in each others bodies, holding with such tenderness and desire. Cate took her shirt and stood naked facing Rooney with a passionate look. Rooney was on top of Cate. "I Love feeling you over me, I love this, could this not be the end?" "Don't say a thing, let me have you". And Rooney just started moving her body towards Cate.

"We have to be more silent, there's three strangers outside" Cate was breathing heavily and sweating. Rooney who was more relaxed now, asked again "what the fuck are three people doing outside?" "Come here, calm down Ok? They are preparing dinner for us. And we have half a hour for a bath, let's?"

Rooney took care of filling the bath tub with water and add it some soap to make some bubbles. "Don't make it too hot!" "Ok boss, let's go!". Rooney entered the bath tub and called Cate, who seated having Rooney behind her, feeling her arms around her. Cate placed her head on Rooney's right shoulder, and closed her eyes. Rooney who felt she was taking care of her loved one, slipped her hands through Cate's hair and caressed her with soft kisses, pouring gently drops of warm water on the her left shoulder, on her chest, admiring her jawline, her closed eyes, ordering her brain to take some photographs to keep this beautiful images in her mind forever. And ever. Cate was totally relaxed and still had her eyes closed.

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" "No, you're not. This his happening!" Rooney thought that the same thing they did with movies quotes, and movies titles they could do with music, and as she was just thinking about this Cate interrupted her thoughts, never opening her eyes. "Have you heard LCD Soundsystem lately?" Rooney could not believe what Cate just did. "Oh god, I was just thinking...that" "Yeah, I know!" "This is happening...it's a record from LCD Soundsystem" And as she said this, smiling Cate turned to face Rooney and kissed her passionately.

"I love you, I love you Cate."

"Yes."

"I've heard you Cate, when we were in bed... you were begging for this not to be the end...Are we putting an end to this in Paris". Cate who was now back at the first position laid in Rooney's body, faced the ceiling with a thoughtful look.

"I've been thinking about us. Well there's nothing I do more other than think about us, you know. And... I don't know if I can continue this. At least this kind of commitment that I have towards you. We don't have any emotional stability, and it's very hard for me. And since I don't have any solutions... When you told me you didn't come to Paris I had a reaction I didn't expect. I'm a grown up, I don't need to be crying over myself every time you say no to me."

Rooney took advantage of the fact Cate was not seeing her, and let go some tears. "This is so fucked up." "Yes, it's really messy. And I don't like lies, I don't like deceiving people...It's been really hard for me these past two years and a half. Now I'm here with you feeling your arms around me, and your smell, and you are breathing right next to my ear, but what about tomorrow? And next week? I'm constantly in a reality check when I'm not with you. And since I can not be with you, we might otherwise not think about that, right?"

"God, Cate." "It's not God Cate, Rooney. It's goddess Cate!" And she giggled! "Hey, you. Rooney? Are you crying?" "What am I supposed to do? You know when i was coming I thought you might do this, but I didn't think it would be this way. I didn't think you would break up with me in a bath filled with bubbles and love. Who would break up like this? Only us really. We don't belong to this world."

"I'm not breaking up with you. I'm telling you that this is an impossible situation, you're the one who said it a few days ago. Are we meeting each other when my agenda allows and make love for three days and then go back to our partners? Do you make love to Charlie?"

"Do you make love to Andrew?". They remained in silence.

Cate was upset.

"I'm sorry, Cate". "Why are you saying sorry, christ!"

"I feel that I triggered this situation." "Oh you did? Did you?!" "You didn't. We did this together. From the first time we made love in Cincinnati. From the second time back in NY when we couldn't resist ourselves. From the Cannes Film Festival when we argued before the press conference..." "Oh god you were so mad at me" Rooney mocked" "Yes, and you can only show, anyone who sees that press conference can tell I'm in a bad mood." "You were so edgy, but you are so cute when you're mad, I just want to hold you and soften you with kisses." They both laughed.

"We should get going. Can we continue this conversation over dinner?" "Of course!".

The table was set outside and when Cate and Rooney saw it they wowed. Could it be more romantic? There was white wine and champagne, the table was beautifully set, with candles in the centre, blue and white classic plates, fish and steak cutlery, glasses for the wine, the champagne and water. "Is everything as you wanted Miss Blanchet?" Alain asked with a proud smile, escorted by Francine and Denis. "Oh Alain, thank you this is amazing. What do you have for us?" And then Alain started to explain all the food they had prepared for Cate and Rooney to have a perfect, comfortable, cosy and romantic dinner. "This is a baked camembert, please enjoy with some bread. You have mussels done the french way, onion soup and vichyssoise, you don't need to eat large amounts so you can try a bit from everything". Cate was so happy. Alain continued "This is godin noir with baked apples, cheese soufflé and then you have Coq au vin, and boeuf bourguignon, grilled salmon with black beans and some grilled tuna. I hope you enjoy!"

"And for dessert you have tarte tatin, profiterole and fruit".

"My god we will be here until tomorrow just eating!" "Do you need anything else?" "I don't! Thank you, you were wonderful, I'm sure everything tastes divine! You can go! Enjoy yourself for the evening.!"

Cate took them to the door and said goodbye. When she came back she found Rooney waiting for her. "Hey come here, she delivered a glass of white wine to Cate. Cheers! And they kissed, a very long kiss, Cate placed her left hand on Rooney's face. "Let's have dinner and not talk about sad things. I want to be with you with a happy mood, ok? And don't you ever doubt about my feelings." "I never did!".

"So I brought you a book." Oh really, I brought you a book too!" "You did? But...How? If you thought I would not come!" "Oh darling, of course you would. I only mislead myself because I thought you would be waiting for me when I arrived." "Why you thought that?" Cate said laughing, "because there was a flight arriving from NY an hour before mine!" "I can not believe you saw the flights!" "Yeah, I might have checked them, but, ok seriously, I didn't know, but I could only hope. What book did you get me?" Rooney was carrying the book and she hand it to Cate. "Here, Roland Barthes: A lover's discourse. I thought that since we were in Paris you would like to read a french philosopher, and well: love, isn't that our favorite topic?" Cate was moved. I read this book so many years ago. And now, it makes all the sense. Amazing! Thank you, love" Cate opened the book in a random page and read it for Rooney:

 _Language is a skin: I rub my language against the other. It is as if I had words instead of fingers, or fingers at the tip of my words. My language trembles with desire. The emotion derives from a double contact: on the one hand, a whole activity of discourse discreetly, indirectly focuses upon a single signified, which is "I desire you" and releases, nourishes, ramifies it to the point of explosion (language experiences orgasm upon touching itself); on the other hand, I enwrap the other in my words, I caress, brush against, talk up this contact, I extend myself to make the commentary to which I submit the relation endure._

"Well isn't this beautiful? Thank you."

They started eating slowly, enjoying each treat of food they had on the table. "So, and what book did you get me?" "It's in our bedroom, I'll get it for you."

Cate went to the bedroom, and got back with the book My Brilliant Friend from Elena Ferrante, she gave it to Rooney with another kiss.

"Am I your friend?" "No, nothing like that, but you have to read this. It's a book about women, it's the first of four, I'm reading the third. It's not about the writing, it's somehow about the volcanic feelings that are behind the story, it's brilliant, I don't want to spoil it. Really read it. I needed to share something that I loved with you."

"Oh Cate. Of course! Amazing, thank you. Inside Rooney saw something hand written. _July 2016, For R, C._

The love they made that night was quite different from other times, in other cities, other places, other rooms. It had some sadness all over, and equally the amount of desire, of passion and secrecy that they only knew. They held each other very close, so close it felt there was no room for oxygen, there was only those two souls who loved each other more than any other ones. It was 5 am when they got some sleep.

They woke up the next day really early, since Cate had all day filled with appointments. Including dinner with Mr Armani.

At breakfast, still at ease, Rooney decided to face the problem again.

"I'm going away tomorrow."

"Yes, I know."

"We didn't finish our conversation." "Yes, we didn't."

"Do you want to talk?"

"What is there to talk about?" Cate was feeling sad. "We're still sleeping together this night, even if I come up late. Do you still want to sleep with me?"

"Of course. But what about us? What about tomorrow, the next week? The next month".

"Well honey. I think it's the end."

"T-H-E E-N-D"

"I'm going to australia next month... shooting. And I'll be all summer with my family. And we live in that bubble that I don't know if it's going to have any space in our heads...So. I think that's it. Despite of what you know. What I feel about you, about us. Maybe I can call you once in a while?"

Rooney was too sad.

"Do you have time to take me to the airport tomorrow?"

"Yes."

The next day Cate called a driver to take Rooney to the airport. They holded hands all the way until Charles De Gaulle. Rooney didn't avoid the tears rolling up her eyes. Cate, kept her emotions private, she didn't want Rooney to see she was tearing up inside. She caressed Rooney's hand, gently with her fingers.

Once they arrived to the airport the driver stopped and Cate stated she wouldn't go inside. "Yes, of course I understand. So.." "Goodbye." Rooney hugged Cate and said goodbye. She stepped out of the car and grabbed her suitcase.

Cate opened the window and called Rooney.

"Rooney? I'll be in New York in November..."


	14. Chapter 14

Hi guys. I'm sorry I haven't been writing lately, but I have so much work, I don't have the time to dedicate myself to these too. I figured this is an ongoing story. Here is a brand new chapter. ENJOY! Any comments are welcome!

Please, be happy! Life is good!

* * *

The plane was landing in NYC and all Cate thought was Rooney. She was not surprised, New York was all about their story, it felt like yesterday those days in June they spent in Rooney's apartment, and yet at the same time it felt like a long time ago. Paris had a bittersweet taste, although every time they spent together was incredibly romantic, and had an intensity that didn't seem to vanish. In rough times she would embrace those moments ash transform in something that warmed her heart. Cate decided she would contact Rooney, it didn't make sense the other way around. Or they would bump on each other in a dinner, in some event or even in the street of the busy NY. Better that the inevitability of their encounter would be her own enterprise.

They hadn't talked since Paris. Nothing. No messages, no phone calls, no emails, no words at all. It felt somehow unnatural, but Cate knew in her heart where Rooney was placed, and she knew that Rooney would find peace with her feelings towards her, and expected a peaceful Rooney. Which is not easy, considering past events, but Cate knew that her words echoed in Rooney's heart.

Was it a coincidence that Cate's apartment, where she would live with his children and (maybe) Andrew for the next months was one block away from Rooney's? For now she would stay alone for two weeks. And the kids and Andrew would join her afterwards.

As soon as she arrived the apartment, after placing her bags and taking a look to the apartment, Cate grabbed her cellphone. _Should I text or call?_

Rooney was at home. Kate had just left, and she was prepared to take a nap, she had been shooting for the night and was really tired. She heard the phone ringing and thought Kate had forgotten something.

 _Oh! It's another Cate..._

Rooney was expecting this moment. She knew that somehow Cate would come to New York anytime soon, she didn't know it would be so soon. She thought it would only be in November. She knew Cate would call. She knew they would meet. She knew. She noticed her heart had a fast pace. So fast it interrupted her thoughts while she holded her phone that was ringing for a while now.

Cate become anxious. The phone was ringing and her heart was beating so fast she placed her hand in her chest _oh god, always these same feelings..._

"Hello?!" Rooney answered with an unpretentious voice

"Hi Rooney, how are you?" Anyone could feel the anxiety in Cate's tone.

"Well, I'm fine. A bit tired, I was just going to take a nap". Rooney had always this distant posture when they started a communication again, and Cate knew. It wouldn't be so hard to break the ice.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, I just arrived, and...I just dial your number."

"Oh really?" That exclamation came out quicker than Rooney expected.

"Yes. I.. well, New York. Lots of memories. I miss you." And so Cate found some space to be honest.

Rooney was stalled and she remained a few seconds in silence. So Cate decided to speak out.

"Do you want to have dinner one day this week...I don't know, tomorrow?"

"Why not today?" Rooney was feeling courageous, between the fast pace and the desire to see Cate now.

"Oh...! Of course! I have no plans at all"

"Can you come over my place at 7 and then we decide where we want to go?"

"OF course. Meet you there at 7, see you later."

Cate rushed to make some calls and notify her agent she was not available to have dinner that night. Just like that.

She had two hours. Two long hours before she met Rooney. She was nervous, if that dinner went wrong, she would open her New York season in a bad way. But she didn't want to think about that possibility. They were grown-ups everything would turn out ok. She decided to take a bath to cool down, and to show-up fresh and clean to Rooney. In her heart she had hope.

Rooney lay down on her bed and with her eyes wide open, her thoughts wondered to those precious moments they had lived in that apartment. I _t looks like a decade ago, god!_ Now it was getting cold in New York and she had an extra blanket all around her. Her hair was a mess and she had heavy eyes and dark circles. She thought about restaurants to take Cate, and tried to think of ways to keep the conversation light. She didn't want to be heavy with Cate. She knew she loved her and had a huge pack of desires towards that powerful woman, but there was nothing she could do with those feelings. So she decided to keep it light.

 _Well I'm not going to sleep, I'll take a bath and put some make up to uncover my bad_ shape.

Rooney chose some music in her ipod and went to take a shower.

Cate walked out her apartment and went on foot to Rooney's. She had a light outfit and a light mood. It was 7 pm sharp when she walked in Rooney's building and the doorman discreetly led her to the lift. She appreciated his politeness. She breathed deeply while the lift took her to the floor where Rooney lives.

Rooney was not expecting Cate being so punctual. But she felt happy about it and opened the door with a smile.

"Hi...!" Cate smiled and touched her hair, as she usually does, to hide the tension.

"Hi Cate, please come in". Rooney was acting formal.

Cate reached out Rooney to kiss her in a cheek with her hand in the other cheek. The usual initial compliment. As she was kissing Rooney, and Rooney herself closed her eyes and just felt Cate's smell, she whispered in her ear "Are you alone?" Those seconds were socially unacceptable, so they jumped quickly to their intimate territory.

Rooney, who was was feeling intoxicated by Cate's presence took a while to answer that question.

"Yeah...of course! Yes, I'm alone Cate".

As Rooney answered Cate remained exactly where she was. Placing a kiss in Rooney's cheek. As fast a she heard the answer she kissed her again. As she got the confirmation they were alone, Cate targeted her mouth in Rooney's neck, and started harder kisses and a heavy breathing in that area.

Rooney closed the door with her leg and placed her arms around Cate's back.

"I can not believe you are here!"

"I am!"

Cate was insanely overpowered by desire. And she led Rooney to the closest wall, she dropped her bag and they started a long and urgent kiss. A kiss that was held in her hearts since the last time they faced each other in Paris. A kiss between two souls that knew each other too well to wait. "I don't want to wait, I want you so much, please Rooney".

Rooney laughed with joy and happiness. "Is this happening? Cate Blanchett at my door and Cate Blanchett in my tongue?"

"Yes. This is happening. And many more to come...if you want me."

"But wait, what about..."

"Nothing about, just you and me, I'm not with Andrew anymore."

"Wait, what?"

"Later, Rooney."

And the desire they had hold for months silenced any words they had to exchange. Cate kissed Rooney infatuadly, passionately. Her hands were all over her body, she embraced Rooney in a way it felt so intense, it was larger than anything she had felt before. Somehow the guilt wasn't there anymore. The kisses were long, wet, their lips feeling each other's, which had such a powerful effect, it was unbelievable. Cate was, as usual taking care of the situation, dominating Rooney, rushing their love making, rushing the desire they had for each other. And Rooney who wanted to seize that moment, stopped Cate. "Hey, hold your horses lady". "Oh you're not stoping me now, you're not stoping me, I miss you so much, your smell, your soft skin". "Yes, I know, it's the same - Rooney hugged Cate and whispered in her ear, "let's go to bed honey, you don't want to make love in a wall, do you?" Cate burst out laughing.

And so, not letting Rooney go, embracing her from behind, Cate let Rooney drive them to the room, where they found a messy bed.

"You're not going to tell me you were here with Charlie..."

"Oh Cate, come here. Let me tell you the news... And Rooney teased her in her ear, softly whispering "you wanna make love to me in the bed where I touch myself thinking about you? Or you wanna keep thinking I'm sleeping with someone I'm not?"

Those sheets had a fresh smell and a soft touch just like Cate liked. She was happy they were now naked in the bed were Rooney slept everyday, it felt for her she was a part of Rooney's life just laying in that bed with her. It felt like home. After that initial urgency they made soft love, they wanted those moments to last.

"Please Rooney don't stop what you're doing. Only you. Only you know." As Cate reached her climax for the fifth time, and Rooney had a few to share as well, they gave up exhausted. And stayed quiet in each others arms. It was very intimate and private.

"This was an amazing reception, thank you New York. I'm starved!"

Rooney saw the hours, 10 o'clock. "I don't feel like going out, let's get some take away."

"Ok boss! Whatever you want, I'm happy."

"Yes. After this I can assure you the only thing that comes in my mind is the desire I have towards you. I want you, but..."

"You can have me, whenever you want, wherever you want."

"Oh Cate, can you please explain me that situation of yours"?

"Here we go!"


End file.
